DIY Wedding Hairdo: Should You Take the Risk?

Photo borrowed from Brides.com's DIY Wedding Up-do Video

Are you a frugal bride looking to save money on your wedding day up-do or other hairstyle? Were you thinking about doing it yourself? Waking up extra early, breaking out the hairspray, curling iron and bobby pins, and fussing with your own hair... ON the day you get married!?

In a perfect world, this would work out just fine. Every lock and wisp just gliding into place in an almost cartoon-like fashion. Little birds and mice showing up unexpectedly to wrap you in a beautiful gown, and then send you off to your Prince Charming.

However, we all know that it's not a perfect world. There's so much stress to deal with on the morning of your wedding. Why take the risk of having your hair a. be a holy mess. b. possibly running late due to unforeseen complications, or c. having your hair come out okay, but just not ending up with the bridal hairdo you wanted?

Some low-cost solutions for getting your hair done on your wedding day, and the pros and cons of each:

Have a hairdresser friend give you an up-do on your wedding day.

Pro: definitely saves you a lot of money. Can also be a pro for your buddy, if you decide to let the hairdo be her wedding gift, which basically means she swapped her handiwork in exchange for the price of her (and her date?s) plates.

Con: Some things are best left to the professionals.

Unfortunately, having a friend do your wedding-day hair can be almost as nerve-wracking as if you opted to do it yourself. Particularly if the person doing your hair is actually going to attend (or be in) the wedding. The last thing you need is for your friend to put that last wisp in place, only to turn around and tell her, "I don't like it at all!" and then watch as her face falls. No, having a friend do your wedding day hair can potentially be quite awkward.

Do your own hair on your wedding day.

Pro: Saving money, keeping total control over the hairdo project. Not having to "break the news" to your pal if your hair doesn't come out the way you'd like it.

Con: Entirely too much pressure and stress! Face it, your wedding day will be the most fun and most stressful day of your life. Maybe even not so much fun as just nerve-wracking. Time flies the day you get married... it's all a huge blur of having to be everywhere at once. And yes – those wedding paparazzi will be breathing down your neck every second. So thinking about pictures... not only will you probably have trembling fingers and the dropsies on the day you become Mrs... but if for some reason you can't handle doing your own hair, you're stuck looking at photos of That Hideous Hairdo for the rest of your life!

Get a beauty school student to do your wedding day hair at a discounted price.

Pro: Save money, yet have someone who hopefully enjoys and is potentially good at doing wedding/special occasion up-dos.

Con: Who knows if the beauty school student will be able to handle your hair? I for one have incredibly thick hair – it's almost like having two heads of hair. Yours could be thick like mine, super curly, fine, color damaged, or you could have a difficult haircut to work with... any number of things could cause difficulty for someone who has less experience than a seasoned bridal hair professional.

Despite these warnings, there are many options to getting your hair done for your wedding day. Check out some up-do videos on Youtube... see what it entails. But this is my final warning – you don't want to look back at your wedding pictures and think, "Well... my hair looks just OKAY. Instead, you want to gaze back at those fond memories and think, "Wow... I really looked gorgeous!"

Where to Find a Cheap Wedding Veil

When I bought my (first) wedding dress, the lady at the store asked if I wanted to throw in a beautiful, matching veil. I forget exactly what the price point was, but I want to say it was almost a hundred dollars?? I opted to not let my impulses get the best of me... there were probably a ton of places to get a perfectly nice, low-budget veil that would be the right color and have the right embellishments to go with the vintage look that I wanted.

After doing some price comparisons on veils both online and in stores like David's Bridal, I finally found a perfectly nice and simple veil on Etsy.com. A woman on there was making veils and charging about $30. Seemed like the right choice for me.

Now, I didn't go for jeweled, embroidered or otherwise bedecked... but I did want my veil to have a finished appearance – so I made sure to get one that had a border already sewn on. If you would prefer a bit more detail to appear on your veil, there are still ways you can be frugal about it. You can:

• Shop for the tulle and have your handy mother or mother-in-law sew the border and jewels on, as well as secure the comb in place
• Purchase the veil already made, and buy the embellishments separately, and have someone handy add them on
• Purchase a used veil online (see our list of secondhandbridal websites)
• Try a few thrift stores (I've even seen wedding dresses at the Goodwill!)

Moral of the veil story: it pays to shop around!

How to Have a Catholic Wedding When You Don't Go To Church

Are you, like us, one of those non-practicing Catholics? Born and raised, but you haven't set foot in a church in two or more decades? Perhaps you'd like to be married by a Catholic priest, but are finding, like a few of our friends have found, that Pre-Cana seems to drive you even further away from the Catholic-ness that was your upbringing?

There are many reasons why some Catholics have strayed from the church, yet still feel Catholic enough on the inside to want a Catholic wedding. Perhaps you're having an interfaith marriage; perhaps you're gay or lesbian; perhaps you're divorced and looking to be married a second time. Maybe, like we did, you have a child out of wedlock and are looking to make it legit but are worried about being judged or shamed, or some other such thing.

Or, maybe you want the Catholic wedding, but you have no intention of going back to church, and don't feel like giving the false impression to your local priest, that you are suddenly going to become all churchy once he marries you. Because, quite frankly, a lot of us out here believe in God and wish for his blessing on our wedding day... but we really don't have a lot of spare time in our lives to attend church on a regular basis. So... why pretend?  

Anyway... here's our story. After doing a little online research, my husband and I found the perfect solution for our non-Catholic Catholic wedding. The name of the organization is the Contemporary Catholics. They are the White Robed Monks of St.Benedict, based out of California, with branches of their organization located in various parts of the US. We like them because, frankly, they embody the Catholic that we all wish we would have had growing up. A good, solid foundation of what it means to be a good person, to believe in God and have faith... to think about life and love in philosophical terms... but without all the rules and regulation, guilt and damnation.

So, after reading the articles on their website and getting a feel for what the WhiteRobed Monks of St. Benedict are all about, we decided to contact them via email. We received a reply within a couple of days, and were directed to a very nice representative of their organization in Fair Lawn, NJ. We arranged for a meetup, but since my husband's work schedule is rather unpredictable, we found it easier just to do a "talky" via Skype.

(It turned out that we couldn't get our internet connection to function at the time of the meeting, so we opted to just use Ma Bell for our meetup, which was fine anyway.)

We immediately appreciated the fact that this priest was actually married (a nice change of pace – a Catholic priest who can actually offer marital advice because he has/is living life as a married man, not one who can only speak in platitudes or resort to imagining what it must be like to be married to a woman). He was down to earth, honest, open, realistic about the less romantic aspects of married life, and a gentle and fatherly guide who we found to be perfect to offer God's blessing for our special day. 

So we booked him, and arranged for our Contemporary Catholic priest to arrive at our venue and conduct the ceremony. We had one additional back-and-forth where we were offered a list of options to have on our wedding day... and then the plan was set. And just as he was when we spoke on the phone, our priest was down to earth, humorous, touching, and gave a very warm and loving message which our friends and family responded quite favorably to.

To make this story short... Catholic wedding but not in a church... yes, it is possible! Contact the Contemporary Catholics today. You won't be disappointed!

The Engagement Ring Rant

Okay, people. This is the moment you've all been waiting for – when the frugal bride spouts off about the utter uselessness and waste of money that is an engagement ring. For those who feel that their love can and should be bought in the form of a big old, shiny rock... I wag my (non-ring) finger at you. For shame, for shame, ladies!!

Come on, think about it. Are we not thinking here? I can't tell you how many times I've heard the whole "if he loved me" speech about how you think your man should tap into his 401K so he can afford to give you the ring of your dreams. I just want to tell you here and now that this is so very wrong. So very selfish and wrong!

I'll tell you what love is. Love is the girl who stops her man from burning a hole in his bank account for an engagement ring because she'd rather see that money go toward something the two of them would benefit from in the long run, as a couple.

The average cost of an engagement ring, I'm told, is $5K. My god, just think of all the way more interesting things you could do with 5K!

I recall hearing about a young man who spent nearly $20K to give his beloved the engagement ring of choice, and at the time I so badly wanted to yell at them, "Great move, kids... you could have used that money as a partial down payment on your first home together!"

A down payment on a house, instead of an overpriced blood diamond... what a novel idea, right!? The bride and groom having their own home, not having to sponge off Mommy and Daddy to get a nest egg started, or throw away years of rent before they can actually save up to get a mortgage.

I hereby decree the engagement ring a near-useless item. Because other than an advertisement that the lady is spoken for, what is it, really? You're never going to recoup the money lost on your engagement ring. You don't increase your personal value by sporting an expensive one. I'm sorry, but I really just fail to see how this has become so necessary for the nuptials.

Perhaps some of you starry-eyed brides-to-be have yet to hear the story of where the tradition of the diamond engagement ring came from. Well, here is the real and unglamorous truth, friends. The DeBeers Diamond Company invented it as a way to amass piles and piles of money. In the 1930s they had come upon, and claimed, a bunch of South African diamond mines and, as one might expect, sought to profit via this avenue. With so much romance in the air post-WWII, DeBeers felt it was the perfect time to unveil their aggressive marketing campaign, "A Diamond is Forever" as a means of unloading these precious gems. Thus came the notion that a fella had to prove his love by investing in an expensive ring for his bride-to-be.

And now the million-dollar question: do I have an engagement ring? Well, yes, I do. And I'm proud to tell you that it came from my husband's grandmother – a family heirloom, passed down through generations. I was lucky, first, that there were any diamonds in the family at all (not that my ring is anything crazy – it's just a modest little stone in a sweet, old-fashioned setting). And second – it fit me without the need for any modification. But if there didn't happen to be a totally free engagement ring waiting for me, would I demand/expect one from my then-fiance? Absolutely not!

Sure, the engagement ring is an exciting part of your betrothal– but I just want to tell you, ladies, that it really is okay to forgo the excessive spending on such a frivolous item. Do your man a favor that he will never forget: if you really love him, tell him up front that it's okay to opt for a less expensive engagement ring... or, be a super-cool fiance, and tell him you'd much rather see the ring money go toward your future life together.

42 Impossibly Fun Wedding Photo Ideas You'll Want to Steal (From Buzzfeed!)

 Just spotted this one from Buzzfeed as it made the rounds on Facebook... thought I'd share here, too!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/impossibly-fun-wedding-photo-ideas-youll-want-to-steal