5 Reasons to NOT Have an Engagement Party

Should you have an engagement party?

As I mention in various posts on this blog, we chose to have a more affordable NJ wedding that was also simple, yet fun and memorable. Part of this initiative included not having an engagement party. We did this for a few reasons that maybe you, too, might identify with.

Here are 5 Reasons to NOT have an Engagement Party...

You are already living together. From what I've seen, an engagement party is right for the couple who has yet to merge households and pool their material resources together. I believe many NJ brides and grooms register with stores like Macy's, Kohl's, Neiman-Marcus, etc.  in the hope of receiving various household goods in the colors and styles of their choosing. We had no interest in doing this, and in fact we were in the process of offloading things that we didn't want.

You are an older bride and groom. Engagement parties tend to be for the younger set who is just setting out together, starting life from scratch. If yours is a second or third wedding, a wedding of two people who have remained single longer than most, or the marriage of a couple who already has a child or children together, you may decide that you just can't be bothered with an engagement party, and that's great if that's your choice. It means less planning for you, less money spent on the party by whomever is throwing it, and less obligations for your guests to fill (see next point, below).

Consideration for your guests. Weddings are a busy time... life is a busy time. If you're not into having an engagement party then your guests are probably secretly thanking you. No one will be forced to go out and shop for an outfit to wear, take off early from work if it's on a Friday, make an extra trip, or buy a gift for you guys that you probably don't want cluttering up your house anyway.

It's expensive. An engagement party is typically held at a night restaurant or other type of venue, and can cost as much as the wedding hall rental. Many people's parents offer to foot the bill for their engagement party, but then that means that the guests who attend are merely covering their own plate cost rather than giving a gift to help the bride and groom start their life together. If your parents offer to throw you an engagement party but you don't feel it's necessary, maybe they'll feel like they saved some bank and will give you a bigger contribution toward your married future than they would have otherwise been able to afford. 

It will make the wedding all the more special. Since my husband and I opted to not have a wedding shower OR an engagement party, we really felt a special glow of happiness on our wedding day. Honestly, having ONE day where everyone came together to offer their blessing on our marriage felt RIGHT to us. Indeed, it seemed as though the heavens were beaming down on our happy little family through the warm smiles of our adoring wedding guests. 

Don't get me wrong here. If you want to go full tilt and have an engagement party, wedding shower, and whatever else in preparation for your marriage, that is wonderful! Everybody does it differently. I wrote this article so that anyone who doesn't feel like having an engagement party can read some supporting reasons to feel good about their decision. No matter what you do, you're sure to have a happy day/month/year in anticipation for your new, coupled life ahead. Mazel tov and many blessings to you!

How to Pay Off Wedding Debt Quickly

Image courtesy of Dan Rappa Photography

Don't Let Wedding Debt Bring You Down!

The quickest way to pay off your wedding debt is to not have any. This means doing what we did:

Keep it simple. You can have a very nice party without rendering yourself broke, simply by sticking to the wedding day essentials and letting the rest fall by the wayside. All those things that spoiled brides fret over... the perfect dress, the wedding day pedicure, the wedding favors... they all add up to dollars spent and no money left to start your life with.

Do the math up front. Plan your NJ wedding so that the cost of each plate will be less than the average amount you expect to receive from each guest. This sounds sleazy, but only if you plan to do something sketchy with the money. What is more important to you: having money saved to put toward your first home, first child, retirement, etc.... or having the poshest wedding on the block? What do you think those sweet, old folks would want to see you do with their generous wedding gift... put it toward pricey floral arrangements and Manolo Blaniks? Or give it to future family generations? Don't feel pressured to match the quality of the wedding with the amount in the envelopes. That's not what marriage, and life, is about.

Stick to your budget. We kept a list of cost projections... how much we expected to pay for each aspect of our wedding. Then we reviewed the list to see where we could trim off savings here and there. For example, several of our wedding guests had creative talents, including a decorative painter, a hairdresser, and a couple of musicians. We utilized the talents of these folks in lieu of a money gift from them. Definitely helped the overall total cost, and added a really nice, personal touch from good friends who got to contribute to our happy day in a very special way.

Pay in cash. It's hard to pay in cash if you don't have any cash, right? Well, unfortunately if you pay for your wedding by credit card you also must fork up an extra fee. Not to mention, if you fail to pay off the card immediately, you WILL accrue interest fees which is a total budget bummer. So DO pay in cash if it's at all possible. Got parents with bucks in the bank? Hit them up for a quick cash loan that you can turn around as soon as you open up your envelopes. It's just so much better to be SMART about your marriage money!

Cut corners where you can. Family and friends can show up early to help decorate – may be worth it if you were going to fork out an extra $500 to the wedding hall. If the venue tells you something costs extra, like the colored tablecloths, then skip it. Instead of a band, go for the local mom-and-pop deejay shop. Save a few more hundred on dress or tux alterations... lots of moms, aunts and grandmas have some great talent at being seamstresses. Ask for help, and you shall receive!

Resell your used wedding day items. Of course, this is difficult... most brides place great sentimental value on their wedding dresses, as do I. But if you're really hurting for money, it makes sense to get a little return on your investment. You can sell the wedding dress, shoes, veil, purse; the groom's suit or tux if he purchased one... I am saying in extreme cases. But for many, a wedding is a ginormous expenditure that they are not ready for and could really be much better off without. So... get on Craigslist and sell your wedding stuff! Hey, lots of people do it, why the heck not.

We have plenty more money-saving tips for your NJ Wedding plan. Poke around this blog and see what you find!

Will Getting Married Ruin Your Credit Rating?

5 Misconceptions About What Getting Married Will Do to Your Credit Rating:

1. Your credit reports will merge together
2. Your credit score will decrease
3. Your credit score will be erased once you change your name
4. Your spouse's bad credit will ruin your own score
5. You will automatically become a co-signer on your spouse's accounts

These are all MYTHS about what happens to your credit score when you get married. For the full explanation on what really happens, read this article from Credit.com

Perfect Irish Wedding Band in NJ – Willie Lynch!

We chose the Willie Lynch Band for our frugal NJ wedding. Music was the one area that we had a definite opinion about and wanted to create an atmosphere of fun and festivity. As expected, Willie and his guys came through all the way and then some.

Whether you are Irish, wanna-be Irish, or not Irish at all but just want a good NJ wedding band, Willie Lynch delivers. For those who are not familiar, Willie Lynch is known throughout NJ as being the premier Irish band. For pretty much the entire month of March, you can follow them all around the state as they hail in St. Patrick's Day with an endless string of performances at Irish pubs, parades, festivals and places like the Elks Club. You can catch them regularly at Mannion's Pub in Somerville, among other places, I think even throughout the year. September is a big month for them all over again with "Halfway to St. Patrick's Day." And when they're not doing that, Willie Lynch's band can be seen romancing the crowd at weddings around NJ, with an impressive set of well-known danceable favorites from Beatles to Sinatra and plenty of rock and roll in between.

The cool thing about having the Willie Lynch band at your wedding is that he's flexible and will tailor the music to your needs. Pretty much whatever you want Willie to play, he either already knows or can learn in a pinch. If you want  him to do a set of Irish music, a couple sets of romantic standards and rock 'n roll played by the band, and a segment where his DJ plays hip-hop and disco, he'll gladly do that. If you want all Irish drinking songs, or no Irish songs and just classic wedding tunes - he'll do that instead.

The Willie Lynch Band is definitely a crowd-pleaser. Willie has that special sparkle in his eye and knows how to woo the old folks while keeping the energy up throughout the night. He's funny, with a great, warm speaking personality. He'll even add those sweet romantic touches, like playing your parent's wedding song, your grandma and grandpa's wedding song. If you plan it in advance he happily takes requests and make sure there's a little something for everyone.

As I mention all over this blog, we looked for ways to save money/skip the frou frou on most of our wedding... but we didn't want to compromise on the music and dancing. So in the end, we're really happy that we chose the Willie Lynch Band to play on our big day. We think you'll be, too.

Cheap Wedding NJ - Something Borrowed, and Your Frugal Bride Story

Hand-painted glasses added a special and sentimental touch
to our frugal NJ wedding.

Looking for stories from frugal brides who found ways to cut corners on wedding-day prices without sacrificing style, ambiance and romance on their wedding day. Have you found an awesome wedding vendor who managed to work with your modest budget? Did you catch a sweet local deal on flowers, jewelry, cake, or some other aspect of your NJ Wedding?

We want to hear from you. Tell your tale in the comments section below, or share on our Facebook page.

I just took a look at this article on How to Have a Gorgeous Frugal Wedding, and I thought it had some really creative ideas. So today's NJ Wedding on a Budget Article is "something borrowed" - hope you don't mind!