How to Have a Catholic Wedding When You Don't Go To Church

Are you, like us, one of those non-practicing Catholics? Born and raised, but you haven't set foot in a church in two or more decades? Perhaps you'd like to be married by a Catholic priest, but are finding, like a few of our friends have found, that Pre-Cana seems to drive you even further away from the Catholic-ness that was your upbringing?

There are many reasons why some Catholics have strayed from the church, yet still feel Catholic enough on the inside to want a Catholic wedding. Perhaps you're having an interfaith marriage; perhaps you're gay or lesbian; perhaps you're divorced and looking to be married a second time. Maybe, like we did, you have a child out of wedlock and are looking to make it legit but are worried about being judged or shamed, or some other such thing.

Or, maybe you want the Catholic wedding, but you have no intention of going back to church, and don't feel like giving the false impression to your local priest, that you are suddenly going to become all churchy once he marries you. Because, quite frankly, a lot of us out here believe in God and wish for his blessing on our wedding day... but we really don't have a lot of spare time in our lives to attend church on a regular basis. So... why pretend?  

Anyway... here's our story. After doing a little online research, my husband and I found the perfect solution for our non-Catholic Catholic wedding. The name of the organization is the Contemporary Catholics. They are the White Robed Monks of St.Benedict, based out of California, with branches of their organization located in various parts of the US. We like them because, frankly, they embody the Catholic that we all wish we would have had growing up. A good, solid foundation of what it means to be a good person, to believe in God and have faith... to think about life and love in philosophical terms... but without all the rules and regulation, guilt and damnation.

So, after reading the articles on their website and getting a feel for what the WhiteRobed Monks of St. Benedict are all about, we decided to contact them via email. We received a reply within a couple of days, and were directed to a very nice representative of their organization in Fair Lawn, NJ. We arranged for a meetup, but since my husband's work schedule is rather unpredictable, we found it easier just to do a "talky" via Skype.

(It turned out that we couldn't get our internet connection to function at the time of the meeting, so we opted to just use Ma Bell for our meetup, which was fine anyway.)

We immediately appreciated the fact that this priest was actually married (a nice change of pace – a Catholic priest who can actually offer marital advice because he has/is living life as a married man, not one who can only speak in platitudes or resort to imagining what it must be like to be married to a woman). He was down to earth, honest, open, realistic about the less romantic aspects of married life, and a gentle and fatherly guide who we found to be perfect to offer God's blessing for our special day. 

So we booked him, and arranged for our Contemporary Catholic priest to arrive at our venue and conduct the ceremony. We had one additional back-and-forth where we were offered a list of options to have on our wedding day... and then the plan was set. And just as he was when we spoke on the phone, our priest was down to earth, humorous, touching, and gave a very warm and loving message which our friends and family responded quite favorably to.

To make this story short... Catholic wedding but not in a church... yes, it is possible! Contact the Contemporary Catholics today. You won't be disappointed!