The Engagement Ring Rant

Okay, people. This is the moment you've all been waiting for – when the frugal bride spouts off about the utter uselessness and waste of money that is an engagement ring. For those who feel that their love can and should be bought in the form of a big old, shiny rock... I wag my (non-ring) finger at you. For shame, for shame, ladies!!

Come on, think about it. Are we not thinking here? I can't tell you how many times I've heard the whole "if he loved me" speech about how you think your man should tap into his 401K so he can afford to give you the ring of your dreams. I just want to tell you here and now that this is so very wrong. So very selfish and wrong!

I'll tell you what love is. Love is the girl who stops her man from burning a hole in his bank account for an engagement ring because she'd rather see that money go toward something the two of them would benefit from in the long run, as a couple.

The average cost of an engagement ring, I'm told, is $5K. My god, just think of all the way more interesting things you could do with 5K!

I recall hearing about a young man who spent nearly $20K to give his beloved the engagement ring of choice, and at the time I so badly wanted to yell at them, "Great move, kids... you could have used that money as a partial down payment on your first home together!"

A down payment on a house, instead of an overpriced blood diamond... what a novel idea, right!? The bride and groom having their own home, not having to sponge off Mommy and Daddy to get a nest egg started, or throw away years of rent before they can actually save up to get a mortgage.

I hereby decree the engagement ring a near-useless item. Because other than an advertisement that the lady is spoken for, what is it, really? You're never going to recoup the money lost on your engagement ring. You don't increase your personal value by sporting an expensive one. I'm sorry, but I really just fail to see how this has become so necessary for the nuptials.

Perhaps some of you starry-eyed brides-to-be have yet to hear the story of where the tradition of the diamond engagement ring came from. Well, here is the real and unglamorous truth, friends. The DeBeers Diamond Company invented it as a way to amass piles and piles of money. In the 1930s they had come upon, and claimed, a bunch of South African diamond mines and, as one might expect, sought to profit via this avenue. With so much romance in the air post-WWII, DeBeers felt it was the perfect time to unveil their aggressive marketing campaign, "A Diamond is Forever" as a means of unloading these precious gems. Thus came the notion that a fella had to prove his love by investing in an expensive ring for his bride-to-be.

And now the million-dollar question: do I have an engagement ring? Well, yes, I do. And I'm proud to tell you that it came from my husband's grandmother – a family heirloom, passed down through generations. I was lucky, first, that there were any diamonds in the family at all (not that my ring is anything crazy – it's just a modest little stone in a sweet, old-fashioned setting). And second – it fit me without the need for any modification. But if there didn't happen to be a totally free engagement ring waiting for me, would I demand/expect one from my then-fiance? Absolutely not!

Sure, the engagement ring is an exciting part of your betrothal– but I just want to tell you, ladies, that it really is okay to forgo the excessive spending on such a frivolous item. Do your man a favor that he will never forget: if you really love him, tell him up front that it's okay to opt for a less expensive engagement ring... or, be a super-cool fiance, and tell him you'd much rather see the ring money go toward your future life together.