Why have your wedding ceremony and reception in one place?

Simple: it's easier for everyone all around. For some religious folks, it may be a priority to have their wedding at whatever church they attend. This is not only "for pictures," but to add an element of family and community to the day. In Catholicism for example, marriage is not just a legal union, but a sacrament, a "til death do us part" that is taken very seriously – and that's the case with many other faiths as well. So with that in mind, many people from religious families would not think of having a wedding outside the church, temple, mosque or synagogue where they attend services each week.

However, for the rest of us, religious or not, the simplicity of telling guests, "Be at X place at X time to watch us get married and then celebrate together," is really quite appealing. Wedding guests often travel from many miles away – we had couples who came in from Las Vegas and Rhode Island, for example. For folks like these especially, it's nice to be able to offer them a place to land and settle in once they get into town, without having to drive all over creation.

If "less complications, more joy" sounds like a welcome fact of your wedding day, then look into this option. First, talk to the manager of your wedding venue. For an additional $500 to set up a few hundred white chairs, roll out the runner, and decorate a wedding arch, we were able to transition smoothly from the ceremony to the party at the Somerville Elks Club. Next, ask the wedding officiator if this is possible. For most, travel time is included in the fee.

We were also given the option to have the ceremony outside on the patio, weather permitting. We did not end up doing this when all was said and done, but you may be able to.

How to Plan a Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 3

Step 27: Have another follow-up talk with your wedding planner to discuss logistics and little details. Find out how many people will fit at a table. Will there be X amount of tables of 10, tables of 8, and so forth? Ask if the catering hall can be in charge of decorating things for you, such as a wedding arch if you plan to be married on the premises, and the sweetheart table.

Step 28: Check to be sure the majority of guests have replied. Based on this info, begin your seating arrangements. I kept mine in a MS Word document in groups of 8, 9 and 10. Each time someone dropped out or came back on the list (yes, this happens), I did a quick delete and paste to move them to another section. This is by far one of the more complicated aspects of planning a wedding, because it's something you can't avoid.

Step 29: Check back with the band to be sure your list of songs was OKed. Send him a list of songs to play during the bride and groom's first dance, the bride and her dad's first dance, and the groom's dance with his mother. Ask the parents if they have any music in particular that they'd like to hear. Send a deposit if one is required.

Step 30: Communicate with the key players in the wedding. Where will you be getting dressed on the morning of the wedding? Will the photographer be there taking pictures? I wrote up an itinerary for the day with explicit instructions and requests such as "Would you arrive ten minutes early to make sure the room is set up?" We had babysitting concerns, as our son was 2 at the time, so we were sure to clarify who would be watching him for the major part of the day.

Step 31: Write out the address envelopes to send thank-you cards for all guests who replied yes to your wedding. You may as well, right? This way, they'll be all set to go when it's time to fill out the cards.

Step 32: Follow up with the cake baker to let them know your cake, filling and icing of choice, as well as the number of guests.

Step 33: Follow up with your wedding day officiant to discuss logistics of the ceremony. Will you be having specific bible passages read? Do you plan to write your own vows? Will you light unity candles, or offer roses to the bride and grooms' mothers? Are you doing a full mass, or an abbreviated ceremony?

Step 34: Follow up with your photographer to select your package, if you haven't already. Discuss the itinerary for the day, and various locations where he should be taking pictures. Do you want him or her to be there for the entire party, or can you save a few hundred by having him leave early?

Step 35: Schedule your dress fitting and alterations. Be sure to bring/wear your wedding day undergarments and shoes to get an accurate fit.

Step 36: Rent the tux, or purchase the suit, depending of course on the groom's preference.

Step 37: Order bouquets. My maid of honor happens to run a family greenhouse, so she fashioned ours from some lovely calla lillies she had available plus picked up roses and baby's breath at a local florist.

Step 38: Make your hair appointment. You may want to stop in for "test drive" of the hairdo you'd like to wear on the big day. Bring your veil to get an idea of how the veil will look.

Step 39: Assign your guests to tables on the diagram provided by the wedding hall. Give this information to the wedding coordinator, along with the table cards with each person's name on them.

Step 40: Check back with the company or person who is creating your wedding favors if you're giving these away. Plan to pick them up or have them delivered the week of the wedding at the latest.

Step 41: Shop for little gifts of appreciation to give the bridal party and anyone else who may have had a special part in the planning and execution of your big day. Gift-wrap in advance and store for the wedding day.

Step 42: Check back with the hotel to make sure the block of rooms is set to go. Find out who from your wedding guest list has booked rooms. Talk about arranging a shuttle to and from the reception if necessary. Decide when you'd like to have your room available. We actually got dressed in (separate) hotel rooms rather than at our parents' homes.

Step 43: Handle the unfinished business of your marriage license. You will need to write them a small check and have paperwork signed. Don't forget your birth certificates before you walk out the door!

Step 44: Wrap up everything with your outfits. The bride's dress should fit perfectly and be dry-cleaned (if secondhand) and pressed. The groom's shoes should be shined, cufflinks sparkling and all that.

Step 45: Make a list of all the items you'll need for your wedding day. Write down each phase of the day and where you'll be/who will be there with you, so you'll know what to include. Check and double-check your list. You don't want to forget something silly, like your toothbrush or shoes!

Step 46: The day before your wedding has arrived. Exciting stuff!! Handle any last-minute calls, texts or emails. Charge your cell phones and type out a list of phone numbers of key people such as bridal party, family members, catering hall, hotel, band, babysitters, and anyone else who you may need to contact in the event your phone goes missing or won't work. Pack up all your bags and take along any snacks or food for the early morning frenzy. Don't forget cash to tip the catering hall people, hotel workers and drivers.

Step 47. Show up. Get married! Enjoy the day – you earned it. Congratulations, husband and wife. :)

How to Plan a Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 2

Step 13: Assemble your wedding invitations. This is more involved than it sounds. For each one, you'll need to include an invitation itself, a reply card and a self-addressed, stamped envelope for people to return it. You also want to put hotel information, a map of your area, and directions to the hotel, to the ceremony, and to the reception. Also directions from the ceremony to the reception! You want to also decide if the outermost envelopes should be written in calligraphy.

Step 14: Shop for veil, shoes, undergarments and purse. Those are probably each of their own steps, really.

Step 15: Shop for groom's getup, including tux or suit and shoes. Hooray for being the uncomplicated groom!

Step 16: Hire a photographer. We found ours on Craigslist. In our ad, we were totally transparent about our needs and budgetary concerns. Our guy had a great looking website and seemed very nice and professional on the phone.

Step 17: Price out your flowers. I can't offer any more input on this, because we didn't have flowers. Instead, I had my good friend Laura Knott hand-paint some white wedding roses on our candle holder centerpieces.

Step 18: Make a list of songs you'd like to hear. Mine was very long, but I gave the wedding band/DJ free reign over which ones to play.

Step 19: Look into the details of getting a marriage license. Call your local town clerk and ask questions.

Step 20: Choose your hotel. It should be near the wedding venue so people can drive or be shuttled there easily. Ask the hotel manager about saving a block of rooms – most hotels offer a discount on this. Also ask for direction cards that you can include with your invitations.

Step 21: Mail out your wedding invitations!

Step 22: Collect replies as they arrive in the mail. I kept mine in a Yes or No pile.

Step 23: Arrange for a limo ride from the hotel. Our "limo" was my husband's father. Yes, we are as frugal as it gets!

Step 24: Plan where your rehearsal dinner will be. We didn't have one, because we're THAT laid back! Seriously, though... if you're having a simple wedding, there's really no need for a big fuss on the night before. We all know what we're doing – walking down the aisle!

Step 25: Order table favors if you plan to give these away. We did not have table favors... instead, we gave away our hand-painted candle centerpieces to anyone who wanted one.

Step 26: Purchase things like table cards, candles, thank-you cards, a box to hold the gifts in, the ring pillow, decor, and anything else you may want to have at your wedding. Pick up a stockpile of stamps on your way home.

Read Steps 27 through 47 here

How to Plan A Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 1

Step 1: Phone your venue of choice and set a tentative date.

Step 2: Choose an officiator and set a date. The officiator will travel to the location where your wedding ceremony will be held. He or she may also wish to meet up and discuss your relationship/thoughts about marriage and other details.

Step 3: Meet with event manager and lock in your wedding date. Discuss details such as time of day wedding will be held, open or cash bar, cocktail hour appetizers, dinner selections. Discuss any questions you may have.

Step 4: Begin writing up the guest list. This may change as things progress. Parents often find people to add. Choose your bridal party if you plan to have one. We kept things simple, and had only a maid of honor, best man, and ring bearer (our son).

Step 5: Do a price comparison on the cake bakery. I am embarrassed to say that we spent about $350 on the cake because we didn't shop around. I'm told my friend got her wedding cake for $15! Select a bakery and give them an idea of the design/type of cake you'd like.

Step 6: Start hunting for your wedding dress. This is one of the more time-intensive aspects of getting married. Like any bride, you want to look good on your wedding day.

Step 7: Choose your music: wedding DJ, band, or both? We ended up having both, but only because our band guy informed us that this was what "the kids" enjoyed.

Step 8. Purchase wedding invitations. We bought ours online, but you can print them yourself if you know how.  

Step 9: Begin collecting the addresses of people you plan to invite. Parents are typically a good source for this type of information.

Step 10: Follow up with wedding event manager and cake baker about the anticipated number of guests. Do a food tasting if you insist on one. We didn't. The guy told us the food was excellent, and we believed him. It really was!

Step 11: Buy your dress! Be sure it's at least 2 sizes bigger than your street size. Anticipate alterations.

Step 12: Initiate a discussion about what the bridesmaids and maid of honor will be wearing. I personally was very relaxed about this. You may decide that you want everyone to wear a specific dress, in a specific color. Or, you may choose the color but allow them to wear whatever style of dress is most flattering for each person. Finally – you might just say something like, "Everyone wear black!"

Read Steps 13 through 26, here

Seeking an Affordable NJ Wedding Venue? Don't Knock the Elks!

When we started talking to my husband's parents about wedding plans, my father-in-law suggested the Somerville Elks Club. He said the price would run around $60 or $70 a head, and that shocked us. We knew nothing about the outrageous expense of a NJ wedding, or the ridiculous amounts of time and effort that go into planning one from scratch.

A few calls to some local fire houses who took their sweet time in getting back to us, and a quick review of all we'd have to take care of on "our day," and we quickly realized that 6 or 7 grand for a 100-person wedding really isn't all that much. After all, this was an "all inclusive package":

5-hour reception with cocktail hour
open bar
catered dinner and dancing
cutting and serving of our cake

...all at a respectable-looking place where we'd be proud to celebrate our wedding day. For a few extra fees, we could have the actual ceremony there on the premises, and let their staff deal with decoration and chair setup/takedown.

Our visit to the Somerville Elks included a tour of the premises, a look around the room where our wedding would be hosted, and a meeting with the event manager to discuss the menu and other options.

We selected a Saturday afternoon buffet, because the price was $10 less per plate than tableside service. The dinner entrees all sounded great to us – a pasta dish, a beef dish, a chicken dish and a fish dish; plus salad, rolls and sides. Meaning, each person would get to go up and try ALL of the aforementioned entrees... because, after all, it was a buffet. Pretty awesome, really.  

It really was a hell of an offer, so we took it. What with me being a full-time mom to our  2-year-old, and my husband and I both managing our own small businesses, we really didn't have the time to spare for anything more involved. And to be perfectly honest, we weren't all that picky about the small details.

If you'd like to have your own, budget-friendly NJ wedding, visit http://somervilleelks.com. Ask for John Stepe – he'll take excellent care of you!