How to Have a Rockin' Wedding and Still Save Mega Bucks

The secret to throwing a stand-out wedding without going broke in the process is this: find your non-negotiable wedding detail. Play that up as big as you want... then cut corners on the rest.

Easy. Painless. And makes a whole lot of (dollars and) sense!

Thus, it pays to consider what types of people you are before you wedding-plan. What are you into? What will the theme, or flavor of your wedding be?

My husband plays music. He's been in bands before. I, too, have musical inclinations, Singing songs, going to live shows, jamming with friends.... music has always been a thing for us. So when it was time to select an element to make our wedding uniquely us, the band was a no-brainer.

What made it even more special was that my husband knew some of the band members personally – they're friends of his family. They had history from way back, and I became part of that history! Great stuff, indeed.

In addition to our wedding band, we also had friends of ours play music for the ceremony. These were people my husband had been in his own band with at one time! What a great honor, to be serenaded into our own marriage ceremony by people we knew and had fond memories of.

Now, in all honesty – we spent a little money on the music for our wedding reception. That was our big investment, and we cut corners on everything else - and I mean EVERYTHING, in order to afford the band. You may not have that much cash to shell out. But just because you're being super frugal doesn't mean you can't find a way to play up a certain detail in a big way that makes it meaningful.

Keeping music as the example here... this is a low-budget version of how to emphasize music at your wedding. Hire a friend or family member to play DJ for the night. Set up the speakers etc. (he or she should know a thing or two about stereo systems). Take some time to make up a list of all the songs you'd love to hear on your wedding day. Include a few special memories – "This was my parents' wedding song..." "This was the song we first danced to." Give the list to your "DJ" and hopefully he'll be able to find and play a good amount of them!

So, what will you play up on the day of your nuptials? Below, some ideas:

For the Earthy types: A beautiful, botanical setting at a nearby park. A trek to a gorgeous, mountain setting. A camping weekend!

For the Jersey Shore peeps: (what else?) Beach wedding! Can you make that low budget? Would love to hear from my Jersey Shore sistahs with some frugal solutions for having a superb wedding-by-the-sea! 

For the Foodies: A farmhouse dinner. A humble, firehouse potluck with guest contributions. An ethnic theme – Greek, Italian, Japanese, whatever your pleasure! An "around the world" dessert table!

For Theatrical Types: A masquerade party. A "period" wedding – Roaring '20s with vodka gimlets, antique accents and flapper attire. Fun '50s (think crinoline skirts and jitterbug). Head straight to Etsy.com to peruse their vintage offerings!

Or, maybe you don't want to get too crazy but you know there's a certain part of the wedding that will be special and personal for you. If you're marrying a chef, then put a lot of attention into making sure the food is outstanding. If you come from a family of big drinkers, then put your money on open bar (yes I really said that! People drink at weddings!)

My point is that if you keep most of the wedding details simple (or omit them entirely), you'll find that you actually do have a little bit of money (or time, in lieu of money) to research, plan, and execute ONE aspect of an incredible wedding day that will be fondly remembered for years to come.

$15,000 Wedding Budget in NJ? Tips for Keeping Costs Down

Image courtesy thefoodistreviews.com

For those just finding this blog, here is a recap of some NJ wedding budget-slicers that worked for keeping our costs down, and can work for you, too!

 

Marry in off-peak season. More and more savvy brides are forgoing the June wedding in favor of a beautiful fall or even winter wedding, when the prices come down a bit. Each season offers its own, festive backdrop to set the scene for your day. A friend of mine got married in February, and there was fresh snow on the ground for her photos... absolutely breathtaking!

Buffet dinner instead of tableside service. A buffet dinner really isn't such a bad thing at all! You get multiple dinner selections, so guests can try everything. People can take as little or as much food as they like, and go back for seconds. A buffet dinner is an easy way to feed kids who don't require their own plate. 

Forget the flowers. Unless you know someone who works in the florist business and can snag you some posies at a pretty price, this is probably the first thing to turn down in the interest of staying within budget.

Discount DJ. There are many ways to lower costs on music for your wedding reception. Hire a small, local band instead of an established wedding band. Hire a DJ instead of a band. Take a chance on an amateur DJ instead of a "wedding pro." Trust a friend or family member to hook up an iPod and some speakers.

Skip the favors. We opted to not have wedding favors for our guests, and I don't think anybody seemed to mind. In fact, I think half the time people either don't appreciate, leave behind, or (sad to say), the wedding favor that you invested good money on and carefully selected, ends up in someone else's garage sale bin. Sad, but likely true.

Snag a secondhand wedding dress. The options for a secondhand wedding getup are limitless. You can hit up the local thrift stores like Salvation Army or Goodwill. Or better, go for a dress that hasn't been handled quite as much – find a seller on Ebay, Craigslist, or one of the used wedding dress sites (you can find a list of them here).

Shop an estate sale for your rings. This includes the engagement ring, if you haven't already purchased one. You can find estate rings at your local jeweler; at antique stores; at online shops where people refurbish vintage/antique jewelry; on Ebay, or even in your family. With a bit of creativity, you can even take a family heirloom ring to a jeweler and have it resized, or add your own stone/other creative accents, for less than you'd pay for a new engagement ring or wedding band.

There are many more ways to save money and stick within a $15K NJ wedding budget. Follow along on this blog, and especially check out this post, The Average Cost of a NJ Wedding vs. Budget Wedding and How You Can Save or Cut Corners, for more details!

How to Negotiate Great Prices on Your Wedding

You may wonder how people manage to afford a beautiful, lavish wedding. Do they spend the rest of their lives paying it off? Well... beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and expensive is an opinion. Regardless of what you feel is important to invest in on your wedding day, it's certainly worth speaking up on your own behalf so you can save a little bank.

Image courtesy of GoGirlFinance.com

Some tips for how to negotiate for the best wedding day deal:

Go into this feeling confident. So many people won't even try to haggle on prices... why? Somewhere along the way someone told you to take whatever you get? Well, that's just not so! Practice haggling - the more you do it, the better you'll get at it.

Remember that wedding venue managers are people, too. They have overhead costs to cover, like the monthly rent and bills, the salaries of the people who work at their venue, and tons of other expenditures. They want to earn your business, not turn you away laughing. A little negotiation is all it takes to reach a compromise where both parties walk away feeling like they gained something.

Brainstorm ways to work it out. A Facebook friend shared her wedding-day success story with us. She got a very well-known and respected NJ wedding venue to come down on their price by 10 dollars per plate by guaranteeing at least 150 guests.

Determine what you can live without. Another friend pointed out that, after working with the Macy's Bridal Shop assistant, she was able to find a dress that looked nearly identical to one that had a designer label. By choosing the non-designer dress, she paid less than $500 for her wedding gown. In our case, a spring wedding would have been sweet, but we opted for November because prices were lower during that time of year.

Keep your expectations reasonable. As illustrated in the previous point, you may have to forgo certain luxuries if you want to save a bit of cash on your wedding. It's okay to not have the designer dress, get married at the venue that was your second choice and not your first, and so on. Remember that this day is not about being flashy or extravagant. It's about celebrating your love together, and sharing your joy with family and friends.

Do It Yourself Wedding Almond Favors: What to Buy, How to Make

You may have heard of, or been the recipient of, the infamous little tulle bag of almonds as a wedding favor. Now you're the one getting married, and you're been thinking about doing the same – giving out almond favors to your guests. Here are a few facts about the symbolism behind the gift of 5 almonds, and some simple instructions on how to assemble the almond bags yourself.

Italians, Greeks, and other countries in the Mediterranean consider almonds to be a symbol of good luck on your wedding day. First, the taste of the almonds (bittersweet), is a symbol of life; and second, the candy coating is a wish for the happy couple's life together to be more sweet than bitter.

Traditionally, the almond bag contains five almonds, representing health, wealth, happiness, and longevity. Each guest receives one, wrapped in tulle and tied with a ribbon, and you may also wish to include a printed ribbon or little bit of paper with the bride and groom's name on it.

Preliminaries:

Figure out how many guests will be attending the wedding. Multiply that number by five, and that is the total number of almonds you'll need for the entire project. Of course, you won't know exactly how many guests until the very last leg of the wedding plans, so this is not a project that you can do too far in advance.

Select your colors. Of course, you'll want to match the decor and the bridesmaids dresses. Or, you can use white or off-white according to whichever hue your wedding dress is. You will be purchasing tulle and ribbon to coordinate with the abovementioned colors.

Determine the amount of tulle and ribbon you'll need. You may wish to consult with a fabric or craft store, hopefully they will be able to offer you a discount for your bulk order of each. The tulle should be cut into circles, each 6 to 8 inches in diameter, and the ribbon should be at least 12 to 16 inches long per favor.

Shop around. Research where to find candied almonds in bulk for the best price. You can find a supplier online (do a search for "Jordan almonds"), or check the Yellow Pages for a local gourmet candy supplier.

Time to Make Your Wedding Almond Bags:

Purchase your almonds a few weeks before the wedding. The candies will still be fresh on the big day, so no worries there.

Cut out tulle circles. Use a small plate (like a lunch plate – can be paper) to trace the circle on a piece of the tulle fabric. Cut it out with sewing scissors and put it aside. Do this for the total number of guests. Hopefully you'll have some helping hands such as the mother of the bride and/or groom, the bridesmaids, or other friends who will be attending the wedding, to help make light work of this project!

Tie up each almond bag. Once you have all of your tulle circles laid out, break out your candy-coated almonds. You will need five almonds per circle. Place your little nest of almonds in the circle and tie it up with the ribbon which you can cut on the fly as you go. If you have also ordered little bride-and-groom name tags, add those as well.

Repeat this process for however many guests you expect at your wedding.

Store them and arrange for transport. Store all the almond favors in a couple of weather-proof boxes with lids (plastic is good), and make sure that someone remembers to transport them to the wedding hall on the morning of the big event. You also want to be sure someone can take the time to place each one beside every plate at each table. The wedding hall coordinator may be able to advise whether someone on their staff can be tasked with this project, and whether or not it is included in the total cost of the wedding.

That's it – don't forget to save a little bag of almonds for yourself and your husband!

How to Plan a Wedding When You Already Have a Kid or Kids

Planning a wedding when you already have a little child to deal with... sounds like the worst thing in the world, right? Actually, it isn't.

As a parent, you know what it's like to have someone who is More Important Than You Are. Your kid eats food and wears clothes (diapers?) and will be attending preschool and college, so on and so forth. All of this adds up to EXPENSES. So: you already have a priority that's far greater than throwing the wedding bash of the century: you're just trying to save up some money for your kid's life. Right?

This perspective will give you an entirely different take on the wedding than someone who is childless. It means that you'll be planning this wedding from the mindset of the frugal and practical. You'd rather spend money on your child than on silly stuff that no one will ever remember. Am I right? Of course I am.

The other thing is: if you already have a child, then having fun on your wedding day will be extremely important to you. I mean, sure, everyone wants to enjoy themselves at their own wedding. But this is a little different. Once you become a mom, the urge to have fun grows from fairly strong to DESPERATE. You have one shot at making this day the most fun ever. You know this going in.

Both of these mindsets – frugal and fun – will be the driving force behind your wedding plans. And, because you have a kid or kids, you've got  limited time to screw around with wedding-plan BS. Instead, all the extraneous crap will fall by the wayside. Your mother in law wants to spend the night before the wedding tying up little bags of almonds? Nope, sorry! No time, got this kid here that I have to pay attention to. Don't want to wear 3-inch heels? No problem... you can't anyway, because you won't be able to lug Junior around the party if you do!

I'm telling you, having kids before you get married is actually a blessing as you plan your wedding day. You will really have your priorities in order, and you'll also have a great perspective on what it really means to get married. This day is not about looking model-skinny, having the dress of the year or the cutest wedding favors ever. Rather, it's about spending a day with family and friends, celebrating your love for each other.

To anyone who already has a child or children and is now stressing about making wedding plans... let the non-essentials go! Your wedding, with all its imperfections, is going to be fantastic. Enjoy yourselves! God Bless. Bookmark this blog for tons of tips.

How to Plan a Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 3

Step 27: Have another follow-up talk with your wedding planner to discuss logistics and little details. Find out how many people will fit at a table. Will there be X amount of tables of 10, tables of 8, and so forth? Ask if the catering hall can be in charge of decorating things for you, such as a wedding arch if you plan to be married on the premises, and the sweetheart table.

Step 28: Check to be sure the majority of guests have replied. Based on this info, begin your seating arrangements. I kept mine in a MS Word document in groups of 8, 9 and 10. Each time someone dropped out or came back on the list (yes, this happens), I did a quick delete and paste to move them to another section. This is by far one of the more complicated aspects of planning a wedding, because it's something you can't avoid.

Step 29: Check back with the band to be sure your list of songs was OKed. Send him a list of songs to play during the bride and groom's first dance, the bride and her dad's first dance, and the groom's dance with his mother. Ask the parents if they have any music in particular that they'd like to hear. Send a deposit if one is required.

Step 30: Communicate with the key players in the wedding. Where will you be getting dressed on the morning of the wedding? Will the photographer be there taking pictures? I wrote up an itinerary for the day with explicit instructions and requests such as "Would you arrive ten minutes early to make sure the room is set up?" We had babysitting concerns, as our son was 2 at the time, so we were sure to clarify who would be watching him for the major part of the day.

Step 31: Write out the address envelopes to send thank-you cards for all guests who replied yes to your wedding. You may as well, right? This way, they'll be all set to go when it's time to fill out the cards.

Step 32: Follow up with the cake baker to let them know your cake, filling and icing of choice, as well as the number of guests.

Step 33: Follow up with your wedding day officiant to discuss logistics of the ceremony. Will you be having specific bible passages read? Do you plan to write your own vows? Will you light unity candles, or offer roses to the bride and grooms' mothers? Are you doing a full mass, or an abbreviated ceremony?

Step 34: Follow up with your photographer to select your package, if you haven't already. Discuss the itinerary for the day, and various locations where he should be taking pictures. Do you want him or her to be there for the entire party, or can you save a few hundred by having him leave early?

Step 35: Schedule your dress fitting and alterations. Be sure to bring/wear your wedding day undergarments and shoes to get an accurate fit.

Step 36: Rent the tux, or purchase the suit, depending of course on the groom's preference.

Step 37: Order bouquets. My maid of honor happens to run a family greenhouse, so she fashioned ours from some lovely calla lillies she had available plus picked up roses and baby's breath at a local florist.

Step 38: Make your hair appointment. You may want to stop in for "test drive" of the hairdo you'd like to wear on the big day. Bring your veil to get an idea of how the veil will look.

Step 39: Assign your guests to tables on the diagram provided by the wedding hall. Give this information to the wedding coordinator, along with the table cards with each person's name on them.

Step 40: Check back with the company or person who is creating your wedding favors if you're giving these away. Plan to pick them up or have them delivered the week of the wedding at the latest.

Step 41: Shop for little gifts of appreciation to give the bridal party and anyone else who may have had a special part in the planning and execution of your big day. Gift-wrap in advance and store for the wedding day.

Step 42: Check back with the hotel to make sure the block of rooms is set to go. Find out who from your wedding guest list has booked rooms. Talk about arranging a shuttle to and from the reception if necessary. Decide when you'd like to have your room available. We actually got dressed in (separate) hotel rooms rather than at our parents' homes.

Step 43: Handle the unfinished business of your marriage license. You will need to write them a small check and have paperwork signed. Don't forget your birth certificates before you walk out the door!

Step 44: Wrap up everything with your outfits. The bride's dress should fit perfectly and be dry-cleaned (if secondhand) and pressed. The groom's shoes should be shined, cufflinks sparkling and all that.

Step 45: Make a list of all the items you'll need for your wedding day. Write down each phase of the day and where you'll be/who will be there with you, so you'll know what to include. Check and double-check your list. You don't want to forget something silly, like your toothbrush or shoes!

Step 46: The day before your wedding has arrived. Exciting stuff!! Handle any last-minute calls, texts or emails. Charge your cell phones and type out a list of phone numbers of key people such as bridal party, family members, catering hall, hotel, band, babysitters, and anyone else who you may need to contact in the event your phone goes missing or won't work. Pack up all your bags and take along any snacks or food for the early morning frenzy. Don't forget cash to tip the catering hall people, hotel workers and drivers.

Step 47. Show up. Get married! Enjoy the day – you earned it. Congratulations, husband and wife. :)

How to Plan a Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 2

Step 13: Assemble your wedding invitations. This is more involved than it sounds. For each one, you'll need to include an invitation itself, a reply card and a self-addressed, stamped envelope for people to return it. You also want to put hotel information, a map of your area, and directions to the hotel, to the ceremony, and to the reception. Also directions from the ceremony to the reception! You want to also decide if the outermost envelopes should be written in calligraphy.

Step 14: Shop for veil, shoes, undergarments and purse. Those are probably each of their own steps, really.

Step 15: Shop for groom's getup, including tux or suit and shoes. Hooray for being the uncomplicated groom!

Step 16: Hire a photographer. We found ours on Craigslist. In our ad, we were totally transparent about our needs and budgetary concerns. Our guy had a great looking website and seemed very nice and professional on the phone.

Step 17: Price out your flowers. I can't offer any more input on this, because we didn't have flowers. Instead, I had my good friend Laura Knott hand-paint some white wedding roses on our candle holder centerpieces.

Step 18: Make a list of songs you'd like to hear. Mine was very long, but I gave the wedding band/DJ free reign over which ones to play.

Step 19: Look into the details of getting a marriage license. Call your local town clerk and ask questions.

Step 20: Choose your hotel. It should be near the wedding venue so people can drive or be shuttled there easily. Ask the hotel manager about saving a block of rooms – most hotels offer a discount on this. Also ask for direction cards that you can include with your invitations.

Step 21: Mail out your wedding invitations!

Step 22: Collect replies as they arrive in the mail. I kept mine in a Yes or No pile.

Step 23: Arrange for a limo ride from the hotel. Our "limo" was my husband's father. Yes, we are as frugal as it gets!

Step 24: Plan where your rehearsal dinner will be. We didn't have one, because we're THAT laid back! Seriously, though... if you're having a simple wedding, there's really no need for a big fuss on the night before. We all know what we're doing – walking down the aisle!

Step 25: Order table favors if you plan to give these away. We did not have table favors... instead, we gave away our hand-painted candle centerpieces to anyone who wanted one.

Step 26: Purchase things like table cards, candles, thank-you cards, a box to hold the gifts in, the ring pillow, decor, and anything else you may want to have at your wedding. Pick up a stockpile of stamps on your way home.

Read Steps 27 through 47 here

How to Plan A Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 1

Step 1: Phone your venue of choice and set a tentative date.

Step 2: Choose an officiator and set a date. The officiator will travel to the location where your wedding ceremony will be held. He or she may also wish to meet up and discuss your relationship/thoughts about marriage and other details.

Step 3: Meet with event manager and lock in your wedding date. Discuss details such as time of day wedding will be held, open or cash bar, cocktail hour appetizers, dinner selections. Discuss any questions you may have.

Step 4: Begin writing up the guest list. This may change as things progress. Parents often find people to add. Choose your bridal party if you plan to have one. We kept things simple, and had only a maid of honor, best man, and ring bearer (our son).

Step 5: Do a price comparison on the cake bakery. I am embarrassed to say that we spent about $350 on the cake because we didn't shop around. I'm told my friend got her wedding cake for $15! Select a bakery and give them an idea of the design/type of cake you'd like.

Step 6: Start hunting for your wedding dress. This is one of the more time-intensive aspects of getting married. Like any bride, you want to look good on your wedding day.

Step 7: Choose your music: wedding DJ, band, or both? We ended up having both, but only because our band guy informed us that this was what "the kids" enjoyed.

Step 8. Purchase wedding invitations. We bought ours online, but you can print them yourself if you know how.  

Step 9: Begin collecting the addresses of people you plan to invite. Parents are typically a good source for this type of information.

Step 10: Follow up with wedding event manager and cake baker about the anticipated number of guests. Do a food tasting if you insist on one. We didn't. The guy told us the food was excellent, and we believed him. It really was!

Step 11: Buy your dress! Be sure it's at least 2 sizes bigger than your street size. Anticipate alterations.

Step 12: Initiate a discussion about what the bridesmaids and maid of honor will be wearing. I personally was very relaxed about this. You may decide that you want everyone to wear a specific dress, in a specific color. Or, you may choose the color but allow them to wear whatever style of dress is most flattering for each person. Finally – you might just say something like, "Everyone wear black!"

Read Steps 13 through 26, here