Do It Yourself Calligraphy on Wedding Invitations and Table Cards

If you have never done calligraphy in your life, then I wouldn't recommend trying to get good at it in time to send out your wedding invitations. Calligraphy is a skill that takes practice (over years) to fully master.

If you've dabbled in calligraphy (like I have) and developed a decent hand as a result, then it may be worth it to save some bank and pull out those old fountain pens you have stored in the attic.

Some, err, tips for those who want to print their own wedding invitations in calligraphy.

Select an alphabet that looks nice but will also be easy for you to print by hand. Some of the ones with more complicated capital letters may look very formal and impressive, but if you just can't get the caps right, then it's not going to be worth the extra effort.

Buy extra envelopes and table cards so you can get lots of practice in. No doubt, you'll want to bone up on your calligraphy writing before actually starting the invitations. But remember that sometimes it can be difficult to make the pen work on different weights of paper. So DO use the actual envelopes (and the actual names and addresses of your guests) to conduct a few practice-runs before the final set.

Don't go too crazy with the calligraphy. We thought the hand-penned guest addresses looked great for our wedding, but we didn't see a need for calligraphy on the return address. For that, we used clear, stick-on return address labels. We put them on the back of the envelope, along with a gold seal sticker, so they wouldn't detract from the clean presentation on the front. We also didn't bother doing calligraphy on our actual invitations. Can you imagine hand-printing the same message 50 to 100 times? Seems unnecessary, when there are so many great printed fonts to choose from.

Don't mail out your invitations on a week when rain is in the forecast. It's difficult to find waterproof calligraphy ink (you can probably order it online, but I think it's also more expensive). Also, supposedly the waterproof ink clogs up the pen and is difficult to write with. (If you do try it, come back and leave a comment as to how this worked out for you.)

Use a real calligraphy pen – not one of those magic markers with the squared off nib. I've seen the difference, and it's huge. Also stick with one of those barrel pens that you can screw the nib off and insert a fresh ink cartridge as needed. I'm sure that a true calligraphy expert is probably a whiz with the fountain pen that dips directly into the ink... but if you're reading this, then you're probably more of a novice, like I am. So go for the less drippy option.

Change the nib size as needed. It will take some practice runs before you figure out what the optimal size lettering will be for your wedding envelopes. You'll want your pen's nib to be the correct size to make those letters – obviously, the smaller the print, the narrower the pen's nib should be.

Print your table cards well in advance. Don't wait for the RSVPs to come back, as things are going to get confusing figuring out who's sitting at which table. You can just put each guest's name on their own card, and if a person ends up not able to come, you can just set aside his or her card. This is also helpful for guests who end up changing their no's to yeses at the last minute (yeah, this happens, especially with old folks who may be prone to illness).

Get outside feedback on how they look. Sometimes it's helpful to step back from an intensive project and get a fresh perspective. Your family and friends will be able to tell you honestly if it's worth continuing with your wedding invitation calligraphy project, or if you should toss in the towel and get a calligraphy pro to take over.

Best of luck, and happy wedding to you!!

Italian Weddings - Sebastian Maniscalco

Sebastian Maniscalco discusses "the cash bag," the Black Book, and other funny facts about Italian weddings. Funny, because it's true, and applies to "NJ weddings" in general, not just Italian families.

How to Have Fun at Your Own Wedding: 7 Tips

Don't sweat the small stuff. Really. No one is going to be saving the wrapper that comes on your custom-labeled bride and groom chocolate bar that you invested 30 hours picking out and then hunting for the best price on. Don't get me wrong – if you can get some cheap candy with your names on it virtually hassle-free, then hey. Go for it! But my point is that any miniscule detail that's going to end up causing you anxiety just isn't worth it.

Have a small bridal party. The more people involved, the more planning and coordinating involved.. and the more potential for chaos and confusion. Not to mention... large bridal parties can end up being "the main cast of characters," with other wedding guests, who may in reality be just as important, fading into the background of your day.

No chicken dance, macarena or electric slide. It's safe to say that the majority of wedding guests would rather not perform these humiliating dances, but do so out of a sense of obligation. "Look at this, aren't we having fun, watch me flap my arms and shake my backside like a total fool!"

Get a good band or DJ. Nothing gets people up and dancing than, well... good music of course! Even if you don't have the bucks to spring for a great band, it's easy enough to supply your DJ with list of favorite songs that are also great to cut a rug to. Keep in mind that, while some songs, like Hotel California, may rank high up there in the Sountrack of Your Life Together, they won't exactly get people up out of their seats and moving to the beat.

Don't let the deejay micro-manage. A strong DJ who knows how to pace the party is one thing... a micromanaging DJ, who insists on orchestrating the whole day and "emceeing" to the point that you can't even hold a conversation, is quite another.  

Tone down the picture-taking. Of course, you want all those priceless moments preserved in your wedding album forever. But watch out for photographers who feel they must stage every cliche wedding photo in the book. It's hard to enjoy yourself when you've got paparazzi breathing down your neck for the entire day. Talk to your photographer about keeping his eye on the action but also staying in the background so the fun can unfold naturally.

Encourage people to leave the kids at home. I know some people may disagree on this. We actually had our son at our wedding, so we couldn't very well say no to people who also wanted to bring their children. But if you really want to have a good, 5-hour stretch of grown-up shenanigans... leave the kiddies at home with at sitter. Otherwise, it will inevitably turn into hours upon hours of grown ups standing on the sidelines, smiling those blank, zombie parent-smiles at the kids who are somersaulting maniacally around the dance floor.