Italian Weddings - Sebastian Maniscalco

Sebastian Maniscalco discusses "the cash bag," the Black Book, and other funny facts about Italian weddings. Funny, because it's true, and applies to "NJ weddings" in general, not just Italian families.

How to Have Fun at Your Own Wedding: 7 Tips

Don't sweat the small stuff. Really. No one is going to be saving the wrapper that comes on your custom-labeled bride and groom chocolate bar that you invested 30 hours picking out and then hunting for the best price on. Don't get me wrong – if you can get some cheap candy with your names on it virtually hassle-free, then hey. Go for it! But my point is that any miniscule detail that's going to end up causing you anxiety just isn't worth it.

Have a small bridal party. The more people involved, the more planning and coordinating involved.. and the more potential for chaos and confusion. Not to mention... large bridal parties can end up being "the main cast of characters," with other wedding guests, who may in reality be just as important, fading into the background of your day.

No chicken dance, macarena or electric slide. It's safe to say that the majority of wedding guests would rather not perform these humiliating dances, but do so out of a sense of obligation. "Look at this, aren't we having fun, watch me flap my arms and shake my backside like a total fool!"

Get a good band or DJ. Nothing gets people up and dancing than, well... good music of course! Even if you don't have the bucks to spring for a great band, it's easy enough to supply your DJ with list of favorite songs that are also great to cut a rug to. Keep in mind that, while some songs, like Hotel California, may rank high up there in the Sountrack of Your Life Together, they won't exactly get people up out of their seats and moving to the beat.

Don't let the deejay micro-manage. A strong DJ who knows how to pace the party is one thing... a micromanaging DJ, who insists on orchestrating the whole day and "emceeing" to the point that you can't even hold a conversation, is quite another.  

Tone down the picture-taking. Of course, you want all those priceless moments preserved in your wedding album forever. But watch out for photographers who feel they must stage every cliche wedding photo in the book. It's hard to enjoy yourself when you've got paparazzi breathing down your neck for the entire day. Talk to your photographer about keeping his eye on the action but also staying in the background so the fun can unfold naturally.

Encourage people to leave the kids at home. I know some people may disagree on this. We actually had our son at our wedding, so we couldn't very well say no to people who also wanted to bring their children. But if you really want to have a good, 5-hour stretch of grown-up shenanigans... leave the kiddies at home with at sitter. Otherwise, it will inevitably turn into hours upon hours of grown ups standing on the sidelines, smiling those blank, zombie parent-smiles at the kids who are somersaulting maniacally around the dance floor.

Do It Yourself Wedding Invitations

You don't have to spend a fortune on wedding invitations. Thanks to the World Wide Web and your friendly neighborhood craft store, there are now tons of options for making them at home. My wedding invitations were simple and nice. I chose an old style calligraphy font for the invitation itself, and hand-printed calligraphy for the addresses. My MIL suggested doing a vellum overlay and then securing them with a satin ribbon. She actually put them together and tied all the ribbons, which was great for me as I tend to not enjoy these types of tasks.

Here are all the details for doing wedding invitations yourself.

In each packet, you will need:

The wedding invitation itself. If you order yours online as I did, you'll get suggestions for wording. Some people choose the traditional verbiage where the parents of the bride offer the invitation (implying, of course, that they're footing the bill). But there are many variations on this - I suggest doing a Google search to see what people typically write, and then selecting one option that suits your style and situation.

Any extra embellishment – for example, we overlayed ours with a scalloped, vellum sheet

Ribbon, stick-on flower, or other decoration (finished product looks something like this)

The response card

The self addressed envelope to hold the response card

Postage for the response card

The hotel information card (once you arrange for a hotel they will mail you out a packet of these).

Direction card – to the ceremony from all major highways, to the reception from all major highways, to the ceremony from the reception (depending on what applies in your case)

Information card. We also included an itinerary of the day. Not typical, but we didn't want any confusion over the fact that the wedding ceremony and reception were going to be held in one location. We also wanted people to know there would be a buffet dinner and cash bar.

Outer envelope, large enough to fit all of the above.

Postage for all invitations.

You can purchase wedding invitation kits at Staples or Michael's craft store and print them on your own printer. Or, you can do what I did, which was mail-order them from the web. I can't find the site I used- thought it was "BudgetWeddingInvitations.com" but now I'm not seeing that come up as anything.

It only takes a week or two (I'm forgetting now, but it wasn't long) before they arrive at your doorstep, ready to be assembled and mailed out. Ironically, I ended up spending double – because I ordered according to our "head count," not realizing that the majority of guests only require one invitation per couple or family. Just thought I'd throw that info in so you can avoid making the same mistake!

Burgundy Silk Mother of the Bride Dress for Sale - Size 4, Never Worn

This burgundy silk Mother of the Bride dress is brand-new and has been hanging in my closet, protected by plastic covering, since November when my mom rejected it as her choice for the my wedding. It is 100% silk. At that time, it had a "newish" smell which has since dissipated. I would keep it for myself, but unfortunately I can't get my left leg into a size 4. It is simple, elegant, and perfect for a cool-weather wedding with the long sleeves and built-in faux jacket. As you can see by the photos, there is some delicate beading along the edges and at the neckline. The label on this dress, also pictured, calls out the 100% silk fabric and boasts the brand name as being "Rimini, by Shaw."

Note the beaded detailing.

Dress size 4, 100% silk. Perfect for a little lady.

Of course, this doesn't have to be strictly worn as a Mother of the Bride dress - it would suit any small-boned lady for any formal event. Unfortunately, I was not able to convince my mom to model the dress either, but I'm quite sure that anyone with a decent figure (which you surely have if you're a size 4) would look fabulous in this classic, simple style. It is easily slipped on over the head and zips up the back. If for some reason you needed a formal, suit-style dress in a hurry, you could wear this right out of the package without even having to dry clean it. It is new, pressed, and perfect.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me via the Comments section, below.

Pronovias Wedding Gown for Sale - Size 12, Sweetheart Neckline Strapless or Spaghetti Straps

Since I'm here, and haven't done a lot in the way of Ebay listing, I figured I'd open up a dialogue in the interest of selling my "other" wedding dress... the one I didn't end up wearing. It's a Pronovias, which I'm told is a rather fancy designer, very feminine and flattering.

Let me give you the photos and "stats" on this thing:

Sweetheart neckline - comes with spaghetti straps, but these can be removed easily if strapless is more your thing. It's also fairly simple to add cap sleeves, I'm told.

Can be worn as shown, or with additional crinoline for extra skirtage.

I had to include this shot of the train - really beautiful.

Pronovias Barcelona label.

Dress size 12 - remember, that's a street size 8!

Pretty flower, can be replaced with something else, or replaced entirely if you're not into the frou frou.

Close-up of fine detailing - yes, these dresses go for thousands!

Note the tiny flaw - someone's bracelet caught on the dress during a fitting.

I originally purchased this gown at a local bridal boutique, but opted to instead wear an entirely different dress that I found here on Ebay. In case you are wondering why I would reject such a fine piece of apparel... I'm a simple, practical person. Comfort and safety first, even when dressing for one's wedding day, is my motto. So while the fine details and shape-flattering design of this high-end bride gown were indeed quite enticing, in the end I just couldn't imagine my klutzy self in such a complicated getup on my wedding day. In short – it just didn't feel like ME.

For you, however, it may be a different story. Perhaps you are a mani, pedi, hairdid, high-heels sort of gal (and even if you aren't,don't most women want to look a vision on the day they get married?). If storybook wedding is your bag, then this never-worn Pronovias bridal gown may just be the garment of your dreams.

Note the beaded detailing, lovely flounces and soft, flowing tulle, gathered and cinched at the hip to flaunt and flatter your womanly curves. The full skirt can be accentuated further with a crinoline for a beautiful, feminine effect. It currently features spaghetti straps, but these can easily be removed if you prefer the strapless sweetheart neckline which is currently so popular. Another easy option, I was told, is to add cap sleeves, thicker straps or some other type of arm coverage. And if the flower in the front is too much for you, your dressmaker can easily change that to some other type of embellishment, or remove it entirely.

This wedding dress is in pristine condition, off the shelf, never worn, with one tiny imperfection to speak of – there is a miniscule pull somewhere in the folds of the skirt. This is so minor that I actually had to search for it prior to photographing. However, because I wish to be an honest Ebayer, I have captured it on film for you to see for yourself, with my own five-inch hand shown in the picture for scale. There's also another photo, of that section of the dress where the pull is, but from more far away. Bet you can't find it -- I couldn't! Trust me, no one in a million years will notice.

Two more outstanding features: the hour-glass shaped, figure-enhancing, inner corset... and the long, flowing train which can of course be bustled out of the way when it's time for dancing. Face it, ladies: you can't find this type of quality or durability in a made-to-order Ebay gown from China. No, this is top quality designer merchandise. 

Here's a tip for those just starting their quest for the perfect wedding dress: don't skimp on quality because someone offers an enticing price point. Some of the stuff they're peddling at David's Bridal is really pretty sad looking if you take a good, close look. The economy has been tough these past few years, and it's clear that many wedding dress manufacturers are cutting corners - using poor quality fabric, less embellishment, cheaply sewn on plastic beads, shoddy looking lace, and that sort of thing.

I feel confident in telling you that this designer Pronovias wedding gown truly stands up to its name. Even though I ended up not wearing it for my own reasons, I can assure you that this dress is exceptionally made, in pristine condition, and well worth the investment. It will arrive to you safe and sound in its very own garment bag for protection. All it needs is alterations to fit you perfectly, and an ironing prior to your big day. You're going to look absolutely gorgeous!

SIZING: As far as wedding dress sizes go, the rule of thumb is you should buy 2 sizes up from your street size. This gown is a size 12, so you should buy it if you wear a misses jeans size 8 or smaller. But even if the dress turns out to be a little snug, a tailor can easily add a lace-up feature to the back. That's what we were planning until I switched dresses.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to use the comment section, and I will contact you.