Getting Married: Should You Change Your Last Name?

These days, less women opt to take their husband's last name after getting married (although many still do). Some say this has to do with female equality and independence. Others may simply be unwilling to drop their family name – hyphenating allows you to carry on your family legacy as a female.

Ladies, as you run through the pros and cons of this important decision, remember his feelings. Taking a man's name when you get married is a very honorable thing to do. It doesn't matter if you're fresh out of college, on your third husband, a senior, or whatever. My husband was, and continues to be, proud to call me his wife and honored that I chose to call myself by his family's moniker. If you care about making your man feel important (many women still do care about this, believe it or not), then seriously consider just honoring the time-old tradition.

There are many options regarding what name to adopt once you're married. I will list them here.

1. Legally take his name, and drop your old last name. This means you will have to not only update your drivers' license, but also pay to update your social security card. From here, you must make sure that every legal document (such as loans, contracts, etc.) also are updated to reflect your new name. As one might expect, this can be quite tedious and time consuming if you've already established yourself in the world with things like mortgages, car loans, bank funds, etc.

2. Begin using his name on utilities, driver's license etc., but legally (on your social security card) retain your maiden name, as well as on any loans and contracts you are bound to. This can make things complicated down the road, but if, for example, you owned property going into the relationship, you can wait until later when you may decide to purchase real property with your husband. This will work well if you own your own business, as you will be able to continue doing business using your maiden name rather than having to reestablish yourself professionally using his name. In this case, it is assumed, as in number 1, that if you have children together the kids would have his last name and not yours.

3. Hyphenate. Hyphenating your two last names together would involve the same steps used in taking his name legally. You could "fake hyphenate," and simply begin referring to yourself as the two names, while keeping your maiden name for legal purposes, but of course you would face the same complications as indicated in option 2, above. And again, if you procreate, you may wish for your children to also use the hyphenated last name combo. (But then, this leaves to your kids the question of how to handle the hyphenated last name once they decide to get married?)

4. Legally take his name, but drop your given middle name and instead use your maiden name as a middle name. A few of my girlfriends have done this, and I think it's a really nice way to continue honoring your parents even as you use his family name as your own. Of course, this would require the same steps as you would take even if you only took his last name but left your first and middle name what they were before.

5. Keep your maiden name, and have him take your last name but drop his own name. I have yet to meet anyone who has done this, but I know it's of course possible, as anything is. If he's serious about it, he'll need to make it legal and go through the aforementioned process.

6. Combine his and your last names, creating an entirely new name for both of you! I actually HAVE heard of people who did this, and, while less common, it is catching on slowly and most certainly makes for an amusing story, particularly when you get to the part where you tell your parents and wait for their reaction!