Secrets of the Happily Married – for the Bride to Be

Image of Britain's longest living married couple, courtesy of http://2012books.lardbucket.org

Experiencing a touch of the pre-wedding jitters? 

When the afterglow of that gorgeous party and magical honeymoon fade, what's left is the sometimes-harsh reality of a coupled life to face, learn and grow from, and come out better together than you were apart.

Married life has its up and downs, chills, thrills, and kaleidoscopic moments, too. Here are some sage words of advice from married gals who have managed to survive and thrive through it all. Add your own thoughts in the comments section!

"When you fight take all your clothes off, it's much more fun that way and you won't stay angry."

– Carolyn Fitzsimons, Mary Kay Bridal Makeup Consultant, NJ

"Try to find a hobby that you both enjoy doing together."

– Jess Wyble, WeebleWobbleHoneyFarm.com

"Whatever the stress is will pass. Rely on your love to get you through the moments when you may lose faith in each other. Keep your eyes on your destination and accept some of the bumps on the journey.

Give each other freedom. Nothing can sour love more than holding on too tightly."

– Jennifer Romaine, ChalkandChocolate.com

"Never go to bed angry. I think sometimes when one of us is really angry, we just take time to ourselves before saying something we don't mean. I think it's important to do date nights, girls' and guys' night out, too."

- Diana Liao Andes, Liaosfood.com 

"Talking is healthy, but isn't always the way. Learn to give a good massage, and make giving each other a nice rubdown a part of your weekly life. Also exercise. You don't have to do it together, but anything that helps to relieve stress will improve your mood and your attitude toward each other. Staying fit is a gift to your partner that says, "I care about staying attractive to you... I want to be here, healthy, strong and capable, for the long haul in our life together!"

– D. Hyde, NJ

"In the case of our marriage, God is a huge part. Our marriage started with a vow that God was a part of. So we go to God a lot.
Taking turns having ugly days. Or take turns being the strong/weak one. Even if you think you are sooooo right, sometimes ask yourself, "Am I being an ass right now?" If the answer is yes. Admit it. Apologize. If you are always looking for the ass in someone else you miss the heart. Get your own ass out of the way. Now non-cursing/cussing/potty mouths would use the word self and selfish.

You in a marriage are a team. Act like it. Daily acknowledge what a gift that person is to you. Maybe it's a hard gift like someone who helps you learn patience. Or an easy gift like someone who understands you like no other." 

– Deb Rowzee, MS

"Also find something you enjoy alone. Some space is good. Respect each other... be willing to change yourself if you need improvement, which we all do. Say I love you every day and I always say "Drive careful" or "Be careful" on his way out the door. Share chores. He makes my coffee every morning, I make his lunch. We miss each other when apart, but it's good to do that a few times a year. We got married at 18 and it was hard, but neither of us are quitters. Going on 44 years now." 

– Teri McCullough, NJ

THANK YOU to all the super ladies who generously gave their thoughts for this post! Anyone else please feel free to add your ideas in the comments, below.