Can't Afford a Wedding Present Dilemma

Dear NJ Wedding on a Budget,

I was recently invited to a good friend's wedding but I am currently unemployed. I don't feel that now is a good time in my life for the expense of a wedding gift. I also feel incredibly guilty, and unsure of what to do. I have known this friend for many years, and am truly overjoyed for her. Should I not go to the wedding? Should I go, but give her an IOU? Please help.

Sincerely,

Broke

Dear Broke,

Weddings always come up, even during hard times. Who knows... maybe someday it will be your turn to walk down the aisle, and your friend may be short on funds at that time. The future is always uncertain.

That said, if she is a good friend, she will understand. Everybody looks forward to a good send-off on their wedding day, and maybe even a little nest egg to put toward their future life. But we also understand that not everyone may be in the financial place to help out in this regard, and that is okay. A wedding is not a money collection, after all. The real joy in getting married is celebrating with loved ones, receiving the blessing of people who mean the most to us, and making a public declaration of your love and devotion to that special person.

If you are out of work but want to attend your friend's wedding despite lack of income, here's what you can do:

Give a modest cash gift. I know everyone says that covering one's plate cost is the proper wedding-guest protocol, but there are always exceptions. It is easier than one might think to set aside a little bit of money. You could skimp on groceries for the week, use a credit card for a purchase you'd normally pay cash for, etc.  

Give something homemade. A photo collage of the couple, a pottery vase that you made yourself, a beautiful set of hand painted glasses. Do you have creative talent? Put it to use in the form of a one-of-a-kind, personalized wedding gift. Whatever you create is sure to delight your friend, and may actually become one of her most cherished wedding-day mementos.

Give of your time and talent. If your friend is doing a DIY wedding, then there may be many opportunities to help make her day special. It could be tying ribbons on wedding favors the night before... pouring sand into candle centerpieces... making homemade confections for the dessert table. Talk to the bride, explain your financial quandary and offer to contribute your time and talent. What is your profession? Musicians, photographers, hairdressers and makeup artists (both professionals and hobbyists!) are welcome additions to a do-it-yourself wedding.

Finally – did you know that you have a full year to fulfill your wedding-gift obligation to the bride and groom? Although procrastination is not always the best idea, sometimes it's necessary to wait until a better time to be generous.

Whatever you decide: if your friendship is strong then it will not require lavish gifts to keep it going!

Got a pressing question about NJ weddings? Email info@njweddingonabudget.com for advice and tips today!