Should your dog be in your wedding?

Well, this is an unusual wedding topic that I just came across. And yet, not surprising considering the way people in America are so wild about their dogs (cats, other pets) these days.

I have a dog, and I got married, although we did not have our doggie participate in the wedding. However, that is because we were parents before we tied the knot. So we already had a wedding-day threesome, and to throw our dog into the mix would have made a chaotic situation even more insane.

But what if you don't have kids, and you kinda feel like your little pooch is your baby together? He'd look so cute in the photos... would things work out with a dog in a wedding??

I would say that if you follow the below rules, a dog in a wedding could be an okay situation.

Hire or appoint a particular person to be in charge of the dog during the wedding. Preferably it would be someone the dog is well familiar with and likes. Ideally, it could be your dog walker or someone who regularly takes care of the dog. I'm thinking that only the most giving of family members would tolerate being saddled with dog-sitting duty at a wedding where most people are just trying to have a good time.

Pencil in the dog's day of pampering as you're scheduling your own wedding-day appointments. As much as you love him, you wouldn't want your dog showing up to put his dirty paws all over your beautiful white gown or anyone else's wedding-day duds. And shedding would be a big no at this type of party as well!

Alert guests that your dog will be participating. You can mention it in an itinerary that you include with the wedding invites. Let everyone know that of course he will be leashed and/or stowed at appropriate times. Some people are afraid of dogs, dislike dogs, or are allergic to them – so it's probably a good idea to give these folks a heads up and some reassurance that the dog won't be bothering them.

Give the dog a special role in your day. Some couples have their doggies take part in the ceremony (dogs make good ring bearers, I'm told – especially St. Bernards, ha ha!), and pose for some cute pictures with the bride and groom.

Don't forget the treats, water, and a nice walky. Weddings are typically grand affairs – your dog may find this day to be somewhat stressful, what with all the strange people, unfamiliar place, smells, etc. Be sure your dogsitter is doing everything possible to make the dog feel comfortable - treating, giving water, and so forth. Oh – and you'll want her to bring the poopie bags, too!

Drive the dog home early. Truth be told, a wedding reception really isn't a place for a dog. There is always the potential for noisy barking; panting and slobbering; a biting incident, pooping episode, or some other type of caper. If you do opt to have your pooch in the ceremony and pictures, do him a favor and have his caretaker drive him home early. Both the dog and you will be happier once he's safe in his bed at home!

5 Ways to Cut Costs on Your Wedding Day

I was just Googling around and came across a great article published in US News and World Report about how brides and grooms around the country are cutting non-essentials out of their weddings as a means of spending less. Looks like our wedding was right in line with the national trend... very encouraging and good to know!

http://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/2013/03/18/getting-married-5-things-your-wedding-probably-doesnt-need

Reasons to say "Definitely" to a Day Wedding

Image courtesy of RuffledBlog.com

As an eager NJ bride, you may think that a day wedding is the low-rent wedding option. "Oh, we can't afford anything more than that." Yes, a wedding that starts at noon instead of 6 pm may in fact be the more economical choice.

However, for all you NJ brides who are feeling let down by the thought of getting married during the daylight hours... maybe no one has filled you in on the many ways that day weddings totally rock.

They cost less. I can't resist re-stating this. Our wedding was held in November, on a Saturday, at noon. It included open bar, cocktail hour, buffet dinner and dancing, and ended at 5 pm. The price was $60 per plate.

Less time to be nervous. When you have a day wedding, there's no time to fret all day about how the wedding will go, if you'll get to the church on time, and so forth. You'll just be rushing around trying to get out of the house... and then suddenly, you're getting married!

You can kick off the festivities bright and early. Maybe this isn't the option for you younger brides... but my friends and I all have kids, some on the younger side. We start our days a little after sunrise, and tend to shut it down around 10 or 11 pm. I'm not saying that you'd want to stick to your usual bedtime schedule on your wedding night! But a day wedding may very well work with your parental body clock.

Old folks will appreciate it, too. A day wedding can be particularly thoughtful to the older relatives who don't drive well at night, and are simply livelier before the sun goes down.

Day weddings tend to be a bit more casual. My husband and I are not really fussy types. We complain when we have to wear constricting clothing, and generally feel out of sorts in places where one must dress to the nines, put on airs, and try not to accidentally break expensive items. A day wedding was a nice option for us to have a "come as you are" kind of day for our wedding celebration.

You actually have longer to keep the party going! Here's how our wedding went: married at noon, cocktails at 1 pm. Dinner, then dancing, then say goodbye. Old folks mostly go home – some hang out at the hotel, or maybe head back to our parents' houses for a post-wedding get-together. Bride, groom and good friends all shower up, then head down to the hotel bar/lounge area to drink beer, play cards, and thoroughly enjoy each other's company. For a busy bride and groom who typically spend their entire wedding running around greeting people, taking pictures and dancing/doing various rituals for an audience... a day wedding can actually give you some time after hours to finally relax and let your hair down.

How to Refurbish a Vintage Bridal Gown

I wish I had taken before and after (and during) pictures, but I didn't. My mother in law refurbished a 1940s bridal gown that I had found on Ebay and purchased for about a hundred dollars. I will give you the steps she/we took to achieve results and get it clean and presentable.

Purchase vintage gown. You can find a vintage or antique bridal gown on Ebay, at an estate sale, thrift shop, on Craigslist, at an online boutique, auction, or anywhere really.

Have gown dry cleaned. I wouldn't set foot in a vintage bridal gown without having it cleaned first. I believe it cost my local dry cleaners about $70 to do my gown.

Inspect any beading or jewels. The rhinestones on the upper bodice of my wedding gown were dirty, and some had come loose. Also, a number of them had accumulated rust.

Clean the jeweled area. Use a fabric-safe, non-caustic spray-on cleaner to gently spritz beaded or jeweled area. My mother in law keeps Basic H, which is made by the Shaklee Company, on hand and it worked perfectly for this purpose. To do this, first put a utility cloth on the underside/inside of the fabric to absorb liquid. Spray the cleaning solution onto the affected area. Pat with cloth or paper towel.

Repeat this process until much of the beading and jewels have lost their dull and grayed or rusted appearance, and returned to their former luster. Periodically check the cloth that you used to sop up the dampness that will have accumulated on the inside of the gown. Remove and replace the dirty cloth with a clean one, and continue spritzing and patting dry until you have worked on all of the beading and/or jewels in question.

Hang dress to dry. This will take a day or so.

Replace missing, damaged or especially dirty beads, rhinestones or pearls. This should be performed by someone who has had experience sewing small beads or jewels on fabric. My mother in law is a skilled crafter, and was able to replace many of the bad looking rhinestones with pearls. Because she had incorporated so many pearls into the upper bodice, she also had to make an executive design decision. Which part of the dress would have pearls, rhinestones, and/or both? Once she had established a method of patterning the jewels she then went ahead to painstakingly sew on each gem until the dress was fully converted to its new look.

Have dress altered to fit you perfectly. I took my wedding dress to a local seamstress who did a few tricks with the bust area and made it work for my shape and size. Her price was extremely reasonable and she did as good of a job as she could, working with what I gave her.

Carefully iron all wrinkles out of dress. The final step is to neatly press your wedding dress with a warm iron, then store in garment bag for your marriage day.

Hope this gives you some ideas for how to breathe new life into an antique or vintage bridal gown!

Do It Yourself Wedding Arch Decorations

Best Low Budget Wedding Limo in Central NJ

Image courtesy of Pinterest

All right, don't hate after you read this, but in my personal opinion...

It's my father in law!!

Seriously, frugal brides. If you're looking for an easy way to trim a few hunge off the total wedding costs, then pass on the limo services. Think of those old, romantic photos from the 1940s and 50s, when the bride and groom rode off into the sunset in an old jalopy with the words "JUST MARRIED" scrawled across the back and tin cans dangling from the bumper.

Think of what a cute snapshot that would make in your own wedding album! Although we ended up having no friends with time left in their busy lives to decorate our car, we were surely grateful for the free ride courtesy of my Mr.'s dad. And if someone in your wedding party owns a flashy sports car, or even a hilarious old beater car, how fun will it be to stage that scene as you make your dreamy exit in a smoky cloud of sputtering exhaust?

No, seriously. There are many options for making the "limo" ride unique. You can snag a ride from a friend or family member who happens to own a convertible, a Rolls, an antique Model T, a vintage Volkswagen bug... or heck, how about a wedding-festooned golf cart!?

So here's to not having a limo on your wedding day! Check out these adorably decorated Just Married vehicles on Pinterest.

Average Cost of NJ Wedding vs. Budget NJ Wedding and How You Can Save or Cut Corners

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I came across a really comprehensive list of NJ Wedding Expenses in this article. I was shocked at the amount of dollars NJ brides, grooms and their families typically shell out to create the wedding of their dreams.

As I repeat throughout this blog, we were totally frugal in our efforts to have a nice, simple and tasteful wedding.

I wanted to do a comparison of the "typical" NJ wedding vs. our budget NJ wedding and what you can save on/eliminate in the interest of keeping wedding costs down.

So here is a breakdown of each aspect of the standard NJ wedding. Under each heading, first you'll see the costs of what the average NJ bride and groom spend. Then below it you'll see what we spent (or opted to NOT spend at all) on our wedding.

Hope this gives you some good ideas of how much you can chisel off the total cost of your NJ wedding, simply by being practical and sticking to the essentials!

Attire

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Bride accessories: $367 to $569
Groom accessories: $193 to $300
Groom suit/tux: $265 to $412
Hair/makeup service: $193 to $300
Headpiece/veil: $344 to $534
Wedding dress: $1,524 to $2,367 

Attire Total: $2,886 to $4,482

OUR WEDDING:

Bride undergarments: $100 (bought imitation Spanx at JC Penney)

Groom accessories: 0

Groom suit/tux: $120

Hair/makeup: 0 (Friend helped with makeup and hair)

Veil: $30 (purchased on Etsy.com)

Shoes: $40 (Etsy.com)

Wedding Dress: $248 (Ebay.com)

Alterations: $100 (local seamstress)

Child's suit: $30 (Ebay)

Child's shoes: $15 (Ebay)

Attire Total: $683.00

Ceremony:

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Ceremony accessories: $215 to $334
Ceremony decorations: $640 to $994
Ceremony location: $748 to $1,162
Officiate/pastor/priest: $268 to $417
Rehearsal dinner: $1,453 to $2,257

Ceremony Total: $3,324 to $5,164

OUR WEDDING:

Ceremony deco: $50 (We had minimal decor – just the arch)
Ceremony location/chair setup/runner: $500
Officiate/pastor/priest: $400
Rehearsal dinner: $0 (We opted to NOT have a rehearsal dinner)

Ceremony Total: $950

Music/Entertainment

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Ceremony/reception band: $2,184 to $3,392
Ceremony/reception DJ: $834 to $1,295
Ceremony/reception musicians: $688 to $1,068

Entertainment Total: $3,706 to $5,755

OUR WEDDING:

Ceremony/reception band: $2,900
Ceremony/reception DJ: included in above
Ceremony/reception musicians: $0 (We had friends perform our chamber music in lieu of a wedding gift)

Entertainment Total: $2,900

Flowers:

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING: 

Boutonnieres/corsages: $203 to $316
Bride bouquet: $174 to $270
Bridesmaid bouquets: $278 to $431
Ceremony flowers: $497 to $772
Flower girl flowers: $56 to $87
Reception flowers: $1,122 to $1,742

Flowers Total: $2,330 to $3,618

OUR WEDDING:

Boutonnieres/corsages: $0 (We did not have these at all)
Bride bouquet: $0 (Maid of honor put together bouquet from her family greenhouse flowers)
Bridesmaid bouquets: $0 (Only had maid of honor and best man to keep costs down)
Ceremony flowers: $0
Flower girl flowers: $0
Reception flowers: $0

Flowers Total: $0

Gifts

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Gifts for attendant: $541 to $841
Gifts for each other: $436 to $678
Gifts for parents: $192 to $298
Gifts and Favors Total: $1,169 to $1,817

OUR WEDDING:

Gifts for attendant: $0
Gifts for each other: $0 (Who does this??)
Gifts for parents: $0 (We technically still owe our parents a nice dinner out as a thank-you!)

Gifts and Favors Total: $250

Invitations and Other Mailings

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Bridal shower invitations: $115 to $179
Guestbook: $56 to $87
Invitations & reply cards: $50.00
Personal stationery: $154 to $240
Save the date cards: $188 to $293
Thank you cards: $101 to $156

Invitations and Stationery Total: $1,103 to $1,714

OUR WEDDING:

Bridal shower invitations: $0 (I did not have a bridal shower)
Guestbook: $0 (No guest book at our wedding)
Invitations & reply cards: $50 (ordered online)
Personal stationery: $0
Save the date cards: $0 (Did not have these)
Thank you cards: $20?? (Purchased at Staples)

Postage: $100.00

Invitations and Stationery Total: $170.00

Rings

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Engagement ring: $5,271 to $8,187
Her ring: $1,063 to $1,652
His ring: $749 to $1,164

Jewelry Total: $7,083 to $11,003

OUR WEDDING:

Engagement ring: $0 (My ring was passed down from husband's grandmother)
Her ring: $200.00 (Found antique wedding band on Ebay)
His ring: $300.00 (Had his ring crafted at local jeweler)

Earrings for Her: $50

Jewelry Total: $550.00

Honeymoon

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Honeymoon: $4,244 to $6,592

Bridal consultant/planner: $1,525 to $2,368

Honeymoon/Planning Total: $5,769 to $8,960

OUR WEDDING:

Honeymoon: $0 (We did not take a honeymoon after our wedding)
Bridal consultant/planner: $0 (No wedding planner)

Honeymoon/Planning Total: $0

Photography

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING: 

Photographer: $2,328 to $3,615
Videographer: $1,691 to $2,627

Photographer/Videographer Total: $4,019 to $6,242

OUR WEDDING:

Photographer: $600.00 (Found our guy on Craigslist)
Videographer: $0 (Did not video our wedding)

Photographer/Videographer Total: $600.00

Reception

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Reception beverages/bartender: $2,537 to $3,940
Bride/groom hotel: $319 to $495
Cake: $613 to $953
Cake knife set: $49 to $76
Cake topper: $47 to $73
Reception decorations/centerpieces: $1,225 to $1,904
Favors: $409 to $635
Reception food service: $8,637 to $13,415
Reception location: $2,808 to $4,362
Reception rentals: $1,257 to $1,953

Reception Total: $17,901 to $27,806

OUR WEDDING:

Reception including food and service: $11,250.00 (November day wedding at Somerville Elks with buffet dinner and open bar)

Reception beverages/bartender: INCLUDED
Bride/groom hotel: $??
Cake: $535 (local bakery)
Cake knife set: $0 (Why do we need this again?)
Cake topper: $0
Reception decorations/centerpieces: $0
Favors: $0

Tips: $280

Reception Total: $12,065.00

Transportation

AVERAGE NJ WEDDING:

Car rental: $346 to $538
Limo rental: $763 to $1,185

Transportation Total: $1,109 to $1,723

OUR WEDDING:

Car rental: $0 (Father in law drove us to the hotel from the reception)
Limo rental: $0

Transportation Total: 0

GRAND TOTALS

Average NJ Wedding, Grand Total Low End: $68,567.00

Our Budget NJ Wedding Grand Total: $18,168.00

Source of Average NJ Wedding Costs: CostofWedding.com

Average Cost of NJ Wedding

Pic courtesy Huffington Post

So, I was doing a little online research trying to find out what the average bride and groom shell out for their entire wedding. I quickly came upon this article from RealSimple.com.

Frankly, I was shocked and appalled. After reading, I did a quick comparison of what we spent on all aspects of our wedding, from attire to honeymoon (or lack of, ha ha) -- and we were far under their supposed budget. Unless I did the mental math wrong, it looks like the lowest numbers on their wedding day expense list still, when totaled, reached close to $70,000.00.

That is unbelievable! And the fact that this is what sets the bar for what so many young and naive brides expect they (or their parents) should be spending is really kind of sad.

I was never one to follow the herd, and if you're not either then it will be completely satisfying for you to say that you spent less than a quarter of the going rate for weddings in NJ.

If you're truly interested in doing that, then I recommend you read this blog and pay close attention to what I'm saying.

You might find some really practical and sound advice here on how to budget your wedding in a way that sets you up nicely for a little nest egg that can count toward your mutual life together.

Anyway - that scary wedding expenses article again!

Make Your Own Wedding Bouquet

Not Having a Rehearsal Dinner? No Sweat!

Thinking about not having a wedding rehearsal dinner? No sweat, sister! I didn't have one and everything worked out just fine.

If people are pressuring you to have a rehearsal dinner, just smile and share this list with them. Remember, it's YOUR wedding. If you don't feel like rehearsing for it, then you surely don't have to!

Reasons to NOT have a Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

Your bridal party already knows what to do. I know it's hard to believe, but everyone in your wedding party will be quite capable of walking down the aisle two at a time, without any prior practice whatsoever. We learned all about line walking at age 4 or so, and I think it's safe to assume that the majority of us can still do it with no problem.

You'd rather spend the night at home stressing about relaxing before the big day. I don't know about you, but I personally found the wedding stressful enough without adding insult to injury. I preferred taking a quiet evening to myself where I could once again run through the wedding day plans and make last minute calls to be sure everyone was on board. You may be different, but if you actually want to have a wedding rehearsal dinner then I guess you don't need to read this argument to the contrary!

You're getting married and you already have a kid or kids. For my husband and I, this was reason enough to not want a rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding day. We were just busy trying to get our kid to eat his broccoli at home, no need for relatives showing up and priests scolding us for walking in the wrong direction or whatever happens at these events. No, we knew that there was a big day ahead for us, and that meant our boy would be off schedule for the entire next day. May as well give him a "typical" evening's rest that didn't involve complicated family ceremonies.

You're planning to have a really small bridal party, or maybe no bridal party at all. This should be a no brainer, but if no one else is traveling down the white runner, then there really isn't a need to practice. Is there??

Who remembers what goes on at wedding rehearsal dinners anyway!? As a bridesmaid of several friends and family members, I've been to my share of them. All I recall doing is a lot of giggling and looking around at everyone else, staring blankly at the priest as he utters gibberish that I can't hear, somehow falling into the correct formation as my designated groomsman escorts me down the walkway to the fake ceremony. So other than enjoying a few glasses of wine and probably a pretty decent meal... this is probably not going to make a difference on your wedding day at all!

Plan Your Affordable NJ Wedding in 6 Months

Thank you for visiting NJ Wedding on a Budget!

For your convenience, I have compiled a 47-step, itemized list designed to help you plan a simple and frugal NJ wedding in approximately six months. The same list is available on another page of this blog, but we thought you might find it convenient to download the document for safekeeping on your own computer.

Keep in mind that I created this blog to help out other NJ brides like myself, who don't want all the fluff and fanfare, and simply wish to have an uncomplicated, yet fun and memorable NJ wedding.

I realize it may seem like the impossible dream to be able to check off your wedding list and wrap everything up in six months. Truth is, if you're a more particular bride with discerning tastes, then it will probably take much longer than this. Or, you WILL be able to pull it off in six months, but you'll be a heck of a lot busier than I was.

Anyway... here's the PDF file of How to Plan a Simple and Frugal NJ Wedding in 6 Months.

Feel free to save it to your computer desktop.

Also, let us know what you think!