5 Reasons to NOT Have an Engagement Party

Should you have an engagement party?

As I mention in various posts on this blog, we chose to have a more affordable NJ wedding that was also simple, yet fun and memorable. Part of this initiative included not having an engagement party. We did this for a few reasons that maybe you, too, might identify with.

Here are 5 Reasons to NOT have an Engagement Party...

You are already living together. From what I've seen, an engagement party is right for the couple who has yet to merge households and pool their material resources together. I believe many NJ brides and grooms register with stores like Macy's, Kohl's, Neiman-Marcus, etc.  in the hope of receiving various household goods in the colors and styles of their choosing. We had no interest in doing this, and in fact we were in the process of offloading things that we didn't want.

You are an older bride and groom. Engagement parties tend to be for the younger set who is just setting out together, starting life from scratch. If yours is a second or third wedding, a wedding of two people who have remained single longer than most, or the marriage of a couple who already has a child or children together, you may decide that you just can't be bothered with an engagement party, and that's great if that's your choice. It means less planning for you, less money spent on the party by whomever is throwing it, and less obligations for your guests to fill (see next point, below).

Consideration for your guests. Weddings are a busy time... life is a busy time. If you're not into having an engagement party then your guests are probably secretly thanking you. No one will be forced to go out and shop for an outfit to wear, take off early from work if it's on a Friday, make an extra trip, or buy a gift for you guys that you probably don't want cluttering up your house anyway.

It's expensive. An engagement party is typically held at a night restaurant or other type of venue, and can cost as much as the wedding hall rental. Many people's parents offer to foot the bill for their engagement party, but then that means that the guests who attend are merely covering their own plate cost rather than giving a gift to help the bride and groom start their life together. If your parents offer to throw you an engagement party but you don't feel it's necessary, maybe they'll feel like they saved some bank and will give you a bigger contribution toward your married future than they would have otherwise been able to afford. 

It will make the wedding all the more special. Since my husband and I opted to not have a wedding shower OR an engagement party, we really felt a special glow of happiness on our wedding day. Honestly, having ONE day where everyone came together to offer their blessing on our marriage felt RIGHT to us. Indeed, it seemed as though the heavens were beaming down on our happy little family through the warm smiles of our adoring wedding guests. 

Don't get me wrong here. If you want to go full tilt and have an engagement party, wedding shower, and whatever else in preparation for your marriage, that is wonderful! Everybody does it differently. I wrote this article so that anyone who doesn't feel like having an engagement party can read some supporting reasons to feel good about their decision. No matter what you do, you're sure to have a happy day/month/year in anticipation for your new, coupled life ahead. Mazel tov and many blessings to you!