Getting Your Wedding Thank You Cards Out On Time

Even though you'll probably be full of gratitude after your wedding day of bliss, love, and so much generosity from family and friends... you probably aren't looking forward to writing out all those thank-you cards. It's not that you're not grateful... it's just that everything is so hectic all the time nowadays. Who has the patience to sit there with a pen and note cards for all that time?

One method I had for making sure my wedding thank-you cards went out time was to address the envelopes well in advance of the wedding.

You can tackle this project while you're sending out the actual wedding invitations. After all, if you already have the file open containing everyone's contact info, it's easy enough to just combine the tasks.

Some other tips for speeding up the process:

Make it a double shopping trip. If you plan to buy your thank-you cards, table cards and maybe even your wedding invitations at a place like Michael's craft store, then you may as well be efficient and just buy everyone at once.

The thank-you cards don't have to match the wedding invitations. They can, if you happen to find a set, but I wouldn't stress out or go from store to store searching for the ideal coordinating set. This blog is about saving time and money on your wedding, so that's the point I'm making.

The thank-you cards don't even have to be anything special, really! I know... a lot of people pay extra for the ones with the photo of the bride and groom. You can do that, sure... but I hate to break it to you, most people will eventually throw out that card with your happy faces on it. So you may as well just take the cheaper option and buy some plain and practical thank-you cards.

Don't hand-write the thank-you envelopes. You've probably invested enough time and energy into having your wedding invitations done. Just get some address labels and print them out at home yourself.

Stamp them while you're stamping your wedding invitations. What's another stamp, if you're already in the middle of the job? You can pick up all the postage at the same time at the post office, too.

A legitimate question: but what if someone decides not to reply yes to your wedding invite?

I say, it's worth wasting the small amount of time it takes to write (print) their address and stamp the envelope. Because otherwise, you'd be waiting until after the wedding.

Finally, if you really want to save time when sending out wedding invites – do like our friends who have two kids did. Just forgo writing the inside message, and send out a photo of the bride and groom with a generic thank-you.

Do It Yourself Calligraphy on Wedding Invitations and Table Cards

If you have never done calligraphy in your life, then I wouldn't recommend trying to get good at it in time to send out your wedding invitations. Calligraphy is a skill that takes practice (over years) to fully master.

If you've dabbled in calligraphy (like I have) and developed a decent hand as a result, then it may be worth it to save some bank and pull out those old fountain pens you have stored in the attic.

Some, err, tips for those who want to print their own wedding invitations in calligraphy.

Select an alphabet that looks nice but will also be easy for you to print by hand. Some of the ones with more complicated capital letters may look very formal and impressive, but if you just can't get the caps right, then it's not going to be worth the extra effort.

Buy extra envelopes and table cards so you can get lots of practice in. No doubt, you'll want to bone up on your calligraphy writing before actually starting the invitations. But remember that sometimes it can be difficult to make the pen work on different weights of paper. So DO use the actual envelopes (and the actual names and addresses of your guests) to conduct a few practice-runs before the final set.

Don't go too crazy with the calligraphy. We thought the hand-penned guest addresses looked great for our wedding, but we didn't see a need for calligraphy on the return address. For that, we used clear, stick-on return address labels. We put them on the back of the envelope, along with a gold seal sticker, so they wouldn't detract from the clean presentation on the front. We also didn't bother doing calligraphy on our actual invitations. Can you imagine hand-printing the same message 50 to 100 times? Seems unnecessary, when there are so many great printed fonts to choose from.

Don't mail out your invitations on a week when rain is in the forecast. It's difficult to find waterproof calligraphy ink (you can probably order it online, but I think it's also more expensive). Also, supposedly the waterproof ink clogs up the pen and is difficult to write with. (If you do try it, come back and leave a comment as to how this worked out for you.)

Use a real calligraphy pen – not one of those magic markers with the squared off nib. I've seen the difference, and it's huge. Also stick with one of those barrel pens that you can screw the nib off and insert a fresh ink cartridge as needed. I'm sure that a true calligraphy expert is probably a whiz with the fountain pen that dips directly into the ink... but if you're reading this, then you're probably more of a novice, like I am. So go for the less drippy option.

Change the nib size as needed. It will take some practice runs before you figure out what the optimal size lettering will be for your wedding envelopes. You'll want your pen's nib to be the correct size to make those letters – obviously, the smaller the print, the narrower the pen's nib should be.

Print your table cards well in advance. Don't wait for the RSVPs to come back, as things are going to get confusing figuring out who's sitting at which table. You can just put each guest's name on their own card, and if a person ends up not able to come, you can just set aside his or her card. This is also helpful for guests who end up changing their no's to yeses at the last minute (yeah, this happens, especially with old folks who may be prone to illness).

Get outside feedback on how they look. Sometimes it's helpful to step back from an intensive project and get a fresh perspective. Your family and friends will be able to tell you honestly if it's worth continuing with your wedding invitation calligraphy project, or if you should toss in the towel and get a calligraphy pro to take over.

Best of luck, and happy wedding to you!!

Italian Weddings - Sebastian Maniscalco

Sebastian Maniscalco discusses "the cash bag," the Black Book, and other funny facts about Italian weddings. Funny, because it's true, and applies to "NJ weddings" in general, not just Italian families.

How to Have Fun at Your Own Wedding: 7 Tips

Don't sweat the small stuff. Really. No one is going to be saving the wrapper that comes on your custom-labeled bride and groom chocolate bar that you invested 30 hours picking out and then hunting for the best price on. Don't get me wrong – if you can get some cheap candy with your names on it virtually hassle-free, then hey. Go for it! But my point is that any miniscule detail that's going to end up causing you anxiety just isn't worth it.

Have a small bridal party. The more people involved, the more planning and coordinating involved.. and the more potential for chaos and confusion. Not to mention... large bridal parties can end up being "the main cast of characters," with other wedding guests, who may in reality be just as important, fading into the background of your day.

No chicken dance, macarena or electric slide. It's safe to say that the majority of wedding guests would rather not perform these humiliating dances, but do so out of a sense of obligation. "Look at this, aren't we having fun, watch me flap my arms and shake my backside like a total fool!"

Get a good band or DJ. Nothing gets people up and dancing than, well... good music of course! Even if you don't have the bucks to spring for a great band, it's easy enough to supply your DJ with list of favorite songs that are also great to cut a rug to. Keep in mind that, while some songs, like Hotel California, may rank high up there in the Sountrack of Your Life Together, they won't exactly get people up out of their seats and moving to the beat.

Don't let the deejay micro-manage. A strong DJ who knows how to pace the party is one thing... a micromanaging DJ, who insists on orchestrating the whole day and "emceeing" to the point that you can't even hold a conversation, is quite another.  

Tone down the picture-taking. Of course, you want all those priceless moments preserved in your wedding album forever. But watch out for photographers who feel they must stage every cliche wedding photo in the book. It's hard to enjoy yourself when you've got paparazzi breathing down your neck for the entire day. Talk to your photographer about keeping his eye on the action but also staying in the background so the fun can unfold naturally.

Encourage people to leave the kids at home. I know some people may disagree on this. We actually had our son at our wedding, so we couldn't very well say no to people who also wanted to bring their children. But if you really want to have a good, 5-hour stretch of grown-up shenanigans... leave the kiddies at home with at sitter. Otherwise, it will inevitably turn into hours upon hours of grown ups standing on the sidelines, smiling those blank, zombie parent-smiles at the kids who are somersaulting maniacally around the dance floor.

Do It Yourself Wedding Invitations

You don't have to spend a fortune on wedding invitations. Thanks to the World Wide Web and your friendly neighborhood craft store, there are now tons of options for making them at home. My wedding invitations were simple and nice. I chose an old style calligraphy font for the invitation itself, and hand-printed calligraphy for the addresses. My MIL suggested doing a vellum overlay and then securing them with a satin ribbon. She actually put them together and tied all the ribbons, which was great for me as I tend to not enjoy these types of tasks.

Here are all the details for doing wedding invitations yourself.

In each packet, you will need:

The wedding invitation itself. If you order yours online as I did, you'll get suggestions for wording. Some people choose the traditional verbiage where the parents of the bride offer the invitation (implying, of course, that they're footing the bill). But there are many variations on this - I suggest doing a Google search to see what people typically write, and then selecting one option that suits your style and situation.

Any extra embellishment – for example, we overlayed ours with a scalloped, vellum sheet

Ribbon, stick-on flower, or other decoration (finished product looks something like this)

The response card

The self addressed envelope to hold the response card

Postage for the response card

The hotel information card (once you arrange for a hotel they will mail you out a packet of these).

Direction card – to the ceremony from all major highways, to the reception from all major highways, to the ceremony from the reception (depending on what applies in your case)

Information card. We also included an itinerary of the day. Not typical, but we didn't want any confusion over the fact that the wedding ceremony and reception were going to be held in one location. We also wanted people to know there would be a buffet dinner and cash bar.

Outer envelope, large enough to fit all of the above.

Postage for all invitations.

You can purchase wedding invitation kits at Staples or Michael's craft store and print them on your own printer. Or, you can do what I did, which was mail-order them from the web. I can't find the site I used- thought it was "BudgetWeddingInvitations.com" but now I'm not seeing that come up as anything.

It only takes a week or two (I'm forgetting now, but it wasn't long) before they arrive at your doorstep, ready to be assembled and mailed out. Ironically, I ended up spending double – because I ordered according to our "head count," not realizing that the majority of guests only require one invitation per couple or family. Just thought I'd throw that info in so you can avoid making the same mistake!

Burgundy Silk Mother of the Bride Dress for Sale - Size 4, Never Worn

This burgundy silk Mother of the Bride dress is brand-new and has been hanging in my closet, protected by plastic covering, since November when my mom rejected it as her choice for the my wedding. It is 100% silk. At that time, it had a "newish" smell which has since dissipated. I would keep it for myself, but unfortunately I can't get my left leg into a size 4. It is simple, elegant, and perfect for a cool-weather wedding with the long sleeves and built-in faux jacket. As you can see by the photos, there is some delicate beading along the edges and at the neckline. The label on this dress, also pictured, calls out the 100% silk fabric and boasts the brand name as being "Rimini, by Shaw."

Note the beaded detailing.

Dress size 4, 100% silk. Perfect for a little lady.

Of course, this doesn't have to be strictly worn as a Mother of the Bride dress - it would suit any small-boned lady for any formal event. Unfortunately, I was not able to convince my mom to model the dress either, but I'm quite sure that anyone with a decent figure (which you surely have if you're a size 4) would look fabulous in this classic, simple style. It is easily slipped on over the head and zips up the back. If for some reason you needed a formal, suit-style dress in a hurry, you could wear this right out of the package without even having to dry clean it. It is new, pressed, and perfect.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me via the Comments section, below.

Pronovias Wedding Gown for Sale - Size 12, Sweetheart Neckline Strapless or Spaghetti Straps

Since I'm here, and haven't done a lot in the way of Ebay listing, I figured I'd open up a dialogue in the interest of selling my "other" wedding dress... the one I didn't end up wearing. It's a Pronovias, which I'm told is a rather fancy designer, very feminine and flattering.

Let me give you the photos and "stats" on this thing:

Sweetheart neckline - comes with spaghetti straps, but these can be removed easily if strapless is more your thing. It's also fairly simple to add cap sleeves, I'm told.

Can be worn as shown, or with additional crinoline for extra skirtage.

I had to include this shot of the train - really beautiful.

Pronovias Barcelona label.

Dress size 12 - remember, that's a street size 8!

Pretty flower, can be replaced with something else, or replaced entirely if you're not into the frou frou.

Close-up of fine detailing - yes, these dresses go for thousands!

Note the tiny flaw - someone's bracelet caught on the dress during a fitting.

I originally purchased this gown at a local bridal boutique, but opted to instead wear an entirely different dress that I found here on Ebay. In case you are wondering why I would reject such a fine piece of apparel... I'm a simple, practical person. Comfort and safety first, even when dressing for one's wedding day, is my motto. So while the fine details and shape-flattering design of this high-end bride gown were indeed quite enticing, in the end I just couldn't imagine my klutzy self in such a complicated getup on my wedding day. In short – it just didn't feel like ME.

For you, however, it may be a different story. Perhaps you are a mani, pedi, hairdid, high-heels sort of gal (and even if you aren't,don't most women want to look a vision on the day they get married?). If storybook wedding is your bag, then this never-worn Pronovias bridal gown may just be the garment of your dreams.

Note the beaded detailing, lovely flounces and soft, flowing tulle, gathered and cinched at the hip to flaunt and flatter your womanly curves. The full skirt can be accentuated further with a crinoline for a beautiful, feminine effect. It currently features spaghetti straps, but these can easily be removed if you prefer the strapless sweetheart neckline which is currently so popular. Another easy option, I was told, is to add cap sleeves, thicker straps or some other type of arm coverage. And if the flower in the front is too much for you, your dressmaker can easily change that to some other type of embellishment, or remove it entirely.

This wedding dress is in pristine condition, off the shelf, never worn, with one tiny imperfection to speak of – there is a miniscule pull somewhere in the folds of the skirt. This is so minor that I actually had to search for it prior to photographing. However, because I wish to be an honest Ebayer, I have captured it on film for you to see for yourself, with my own five-inch hand shown in the picture for scale. There's also another photo, of that section of the dress where the pull is, but from more far away. Bet you can't find it -- I couldn't! Trust me, no one in a million years will notice.

Two more outstanding features: the hour-glass shaped, figure-enhancing, inner corset... and the long, flowing train which can of course be bustled out of the way when it's time for dancing. Face it, ladies: you can't find this type of quality or durability in a made-to-order Ebay gown from China. No, this is top quality designer merchandise. 

Here's a tip for those just starting their quest for the perfect wedding dress: don't skimp on quality because someone offers an enticing price point. Some of the stuff they're peddling at David's Bridal is really pretty sad looking if you take a good, close look. The economy has been tough these past few years, and it's clear that many wedding dress manufacturers are cutting corners - using poor quality fabric, less embellishment, cheaply sewn on plastic beads, shoddy looking lace, and that sort of thing.

I feel confident in telling you that this designer Pronovias wedding gown truly stands up to its name. Even though I ended up not wearing it for my own reasons, I can assure you that this dress is exceptionally made, in pristine condition, and well worth the investment. It will arrive to you safe and sound in its very own garment bag for protection. All it needs is alterations to fit you perfectly, and an ironing prior to your big day. You're going to look absolutely gorgeous!

SIZING: As far as wedding dress sizes go, the rule of thumb is you should buy 2 sizes up from your street size. This gown is a size 12, so you should buy it if you wear a misses jeans size 8 or smaller. But even if the dress turns out to be a little snug, a tailor can easily add a lace-up feature to the back. That's what we were planning until I switched dresses.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to use the comment section, and I will contact you.

How to Plan a Wedding When You Already Have a Kid or Kids

Planning a wedding when you already have a little child to deal with... sounds like the worst thing in the world, right? Actually, it isn't.

As a parent, you know what it's like to have someone who is More Important Than You Are. Your kid eats food and wears clothes (diapers?) and will be attending preschool and college, so on and so forth. All of this adds up to EXPENSES. So: you already have a priority that's far greater than throwing the wedding bash of the century: you're just trying to save up some money for your kid's life. Right?

This perspective will give you an entirely different take on the wedding than someone who is childless. It means that you'll be planning this wedding from the mindset of the frugal and practical. You'd rather spend money on your child than on silly stuff that no one will ever remember. Am I right? Of course I am.

The other thing is: if you already have a child, then having fun on your wedding day will be extremely important to you. I mean, sure, everyone wants to enjoy themselves at their own wedding. But this is a little different. Once you become a mom, the urge to have fun grows from fairly strong to DESPERATE. You have one shot at making this day the most fun ever. You know this going in.

Both of these mindsets – frugal and fun – will be the driving force behind your wedding plans. And, because you have a kid or kids, you've got  limited time to screw around with wedding-plan BS. Instead, all the extraneous crap will fall by the wayside. Your mother in law wants to spend the night before the wedding tying up little bags of almonds? Nope, sorry! No time, got this kid here that I have to pay attention to. Don't want to wear 3-inch heels? No problem... you can't anyway, because you won't be able to lug Junior around the party if you do!

I'm telling you, having kids before you get married is actually a blessing as you plan your wedding day. You will really have your priorities in order, and you'll also have a great perspective on what it really means to get married. This day is not about looking model-skinny, having the dress of the year or the cutest wedding favors ever. Rather, it's about spending a day with family and friends, celebrating your love for each other.

To anyone who already has a child or children and is now stressing about making wedding plans... let the non-essentials go! Your wedding, with all its imperfections, is going to be fantastic. Enjoy yourselves! God Bless. Bookmark this blog for tons of tips.

A Great, Budget Friendly Wedding Photographer in NJ

We found a terrific, budget-friendly photographer for our wedding by looking on Craigslist. I advertised in the Creative section, figuring it was better to "attract" rather than go after someone already in existence. We were open to someone who took pictures as a hobby, but hopefully had a good eye. In my ad, I specified exactly what I wanted, what I did not want, and a ballpark figure of what we wanted to pay.

We chose Craig Pritch over a slew of other photographers who had replied to the ad, because he really was exactly what we had in mind, plus he had this awesome photography website showcasing photos of his travels. We knew that a wedding would be a much different dynamic, requiring different skills and timing than taking pictures of mountains and landscapes... but after receiving a photo album from a friend's wedding that he had taken pics for, we were 100% certain Craig was our guy.

We were not especially picky in our demands on the photographer. I know that many people these days are going for that journalistic wedding photo style, but that wasn't us. All we really cared about was getting some nice family portraits to put in the album, hopefully some flattering photos of us posing as bride and groom, and of course, some candids of people enjoying themselves at the wedding reception.

Our photographer gave us exactly what we wanted and then some. He was right there in front of the action, capturing all those unforgettable moments of the day, and he was relaxed enough to feel like one of the family! We really appreciated the fine work he did for us as well as the competitive pricing he offered.

Thanks, Craig for capturing our wedding day memories so perfectly! We hope this little plug gets you some side business. :)

How to Save Money on Your Wedding Cake

We got our wedding cake from a bakery in Somerville, NJ called The Dessert Plate. They're known for using simple, pure and delicious ingredients in their freshly made baked cakes, cookies and treats.

To be honest, I didn't put all that much effort into shopping around for the biggest bargain or perfect wedding cake. I Googled, found these guys, and their foodie philosophy resonated with my own, so I chose them. We didn't even show up for a tasting. We just trusted that they were good. What can I say, my husband and I are easy to please.

One of the main reasons I went with The Dessert Plate is that they're down the road from our wedding venue, which was the Somerville Elks Club on Union Ave/Rt. 28. They delivered our cake with no problem, so it was all hassle-free for us.

They also gave us ideas on how to bring the cost of wedding cake down. Rather than order a huge cake with lots of tiers, you can go with a smaller, display cake for the bride and groom, and then have the rest baked as a sheet cake which costs less money. We ordered a 2-tier cake, and I think a sheet cake and a half, to feed about 160 (?) people.

Our cake cost about $400, when all was said and done. But I will say, the bride who takes the prize for Best Deal on a Wedding Cake is my friend Maria, who paid I think $13 for her wedding cake. I'm not sure how she did this – will have to ask her!

Wedding Centerpieces on the Cheap

Here's a great solution for saving money on wedding centerpieces... just don't have any! HA! Seriously, though. While some people spend thousands on flowers for each table, other bride and grooms don't feel that strongly about it. So, if you're looking to keep wedding costs down, flowers can be the perfect omission.

Okay: so if you don't have flowers at your wedding, how are you going to dress up the tables? Lots of people do a candle centerpiece alternative. I happen to have a very talented friend who hand-paints flowers and other designs on glass. Her name is Laura, of http://laurasglassart.com. Laura painted a white rosebud wedding design on glass candle bowls for each of my tables, and we filled each one with rice and a cream colored candle.

At the end of the wedding, we gave them away to anyone who was interested. Mine is currently displayed on a shelf in my diningroom!

As an added bonus, my mother-in-law surprised us with Bride and Groom champagne flutes and water glasses, also painted by my friend Laura. They really added something special to the sweetheart table, and made the perfect wedding keepsake.

Why a Used Wedding Dress Gets You More for Your Money

The budget-savvy bride should have a price point in mind before she sets out to buy a dress. Mine was $300. I wrote that on my original, "wedding budget" Word document, and that's actually what I ended up spending – but I got two dresses for my money.

The first dress, I purchased at a bridal shop. It was a beautiful, designer gown that any bride would be proud to wear. I got it for a bargain due to a tiny flaw – someone's bracelet had caught in the folds of the skirt. I ended up changing my mind about the dress, because practicality won out in the end. Our son was two years old at the time, and the first dress was way more "bridal," as my dressmaker described it. Long, flowing skirt and train, sweetheart neckline with spaghetti straps or strapless. Just a lot of dress for a little mommy.

So: I went on Ebay to see what else I might find, and lo and behold there was this vintage dress, simple, more coverage over my "chubby" shoulders, and just to the floor which I knew would be easier to move around in, bend over, pick up my son and so forth. So I bought that one. When it arrived, I noticed that the rhinestone-bedecked top portion of the dress could use some cleaning. So with help from my handy mother-in-law, we got the dress to a wearable condition, and I had it altered to fit me.

I still have both dresses. But I plan to sell the one that I didn't wear, which is going to mean I will be well under my "budget" for a bridal gown!

Hopefully, you can have a similarly successful, "frugal bride" experience. Have fun in your hunt for the perfect wedding gown, and don't be afraid to explore some alternate options (like used), that you might not have originally considered.

Finding a Nice, Secondhand Wedding Dress

The budget-conscious bride doesn't want to spend upwards of a thousand dollars on a dress she'll wear once in her life. Thanks to the internet, it's easier than ever to find a wedding gown that, for any number of reasons, ended up on the used rack even though it's in near-perfect condition.

Reasons not to knock a used wedding dress:

A wedding dress can end up as secondhand even though it was never worn. How come?

Bride changed her mind. Sometimes a bride just decides that she likes another style of wedding dress better. So now she has two dresses to choose from. The dress she deemed unfit could end up being perfect for you!

The dress was on display. Maybe it was worn by a mannequin in the front window of some downtown bridal boutique. Maybe the dress was modeled for the designer's catalog. These are two scenarios that can seriously bring down the price point without affecting the quality of the bridal gown.

It's last year's design. Some fashionista brides wouldn't think of wearing a "last season" wedding gown. But other, more practical brides wouldn't mind this in the least. And in fact, an outdated wedding gown may just be more your style than whatever is being shown now.

Maybe the wedding was called off! Sure, some might be superstitious about wearing a dress from someone else's wedding that wasn't meant to be. Is this bad luck? You may think so... but think about the good karma you'll be bringing to the poor, unworn bridal gown who just wanted to be loved!

Where to find quality, secondhand bridal gowns:

Any small, boutique type of bridal shop. Talk to the owner and ask if there's a "downstairs" or back room where the lesser (but perfectly nice) dresses may be hiding.

Thrift stores. You may think "Halloween bride" in this case – but still, it never hurts to check out the merchandise at your local secondhand shop. Someone else's trash could be your treasure – yes, even a bride gown.

http://craigslist.org. Search your locale and surrounding towns. Most people will be up front about the story behind the dress. Go see it in person before committing to buy.

http://ebay.com. Some terrific buys can be found on Ebay for a used wedding dress. Just be sure to ask lots of questions and check the photos from every angle. Inquire as to whether there are any stains, tears or other flaws that you may not be able to pick up in the displayed photos.

http://preownedweddingdresses.com. Another great site where you can log in, explore a ton of great quality used dresses, and do specific searches for whatever size and style appeals to your taste.

There are many more great, used wedding gowns to be found online. Do a Google search to see what comes up!

Why have your wedding ceremony and reception in one place?

Simple: it's easier for everyone all around. For some religious folks, it may be a priority to have their wedding at whatever church they attend. This is not only "for pictures," but to add an element of family and community to the day. In Catholicism for example, marriage is not just a legal union, but a sacrament, a "til death do us part" that is taken very seriously – and that's the case with many other faiths as well. So with that in mind, many people from religious families would not think of having a wedding outside the church, temple, mosque or synagogue where they attend services each week.

However, for the rest of us, religious or not, the simplicity of telling guests, "Be at X place at X time to watch us get married and then celebrate together," is really quite appealing. Wedding guests often travel from many miles away – we had couples who came in from Las Vegas and Rhode Island, for example. For folks like these especially, it's nice to be able to offer them a place to land and settle in once they get into town, without having to drive all over creation.

If "less complications, more joy" sounds like a welcome fact of your wedding day, then look into this option. First, talk to the manager of your wedding venue. For an additional $500 to set up a few hundred white chairs, roll out the runner, and decorate a wedding arch, we were able to transition smoothly from the ceremony to the party at the Somerville Elks Club. Next, ask the wedding officiator if this is possible. For most, travel time is included in the fee.

We were also given the option to have the ceremony outside on the patio, weather permitting. We did not end up doing this when all was said and done, but you may be able to.

How to Plan a Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 3

Step 27: Have another follow-up talk with your wedding planner to discuss logistics and little details. Find out how many people will fit at a table. Will there be X amount of tables of 10, tables of 8, and so forth? Ask if the catering hall can be in charge of decorating things for you, such as a wedding arch if you plan to be married on the premises, and the sweetheart table.

Step 28: Check to be sure the majority of guests have replied. Based on this info, begin your seating arrangements. I kept mine in a MS Word document in groups of 8, 9 and 10. Each time someone dropped out or came back on the list (yes, this happens), I did a quick delete and paste to move them to another section. This is by far one of the more complicated aspects of planning a wedding, because it's something you can't avoid.

Step 29: Check back with the band to be sure your list of songs was OKed. Send him a list of songs to play during the bride and groom's first dance, the bride and her dad's first dance, and the groom's dance with his mother. Ask the parents if they have any music in particular that they'd like to hear. Send a deposit if one is required.

Step 30: Communicate with the key players in the wedding. Where will you be getting dressed on the morning of the wedding? Will the photographer be there taking pictures? I wrote up an itinerary for the day with explicit instructions and requests such as "Would you arrive ten minutes early to make sure the room is set up?" We had babysitting concerns, as our son was 2 at the time, so we were sure to clarify who would be watching him for the major part of the day.

Step 31: Write out the address envelopes to send thank-you cards for all guests who replied yes to your wedding. You may as well, right? This way, they'll be all set to go when it's time to fill out the cards.

Step 32: Follow up with the cake baker to let them know your cake, filling and icing of choice, as well as the number of guests.

Step 33: Follow up with your wedding day officiant to discuss logistics of the ceremony. Will you be having specific bible passages read? Do you plan to write your own vows? Will you light unity candles, or offer roses to the bride and grooms' mothers? Are you doing a full mass, or an abbreviated ceremony?

Step 34: Follow up with your photographer to select your package, if you haven't already. Discuss the itinerary for the day, and various locations where he should be taking pictures. Do you want him or her to be there for the entire party, or can you save a few hundred by having him leave early?

Step 35: Schedule your dress fitting and alterations. Be sure to bring/wear your wedding day undergarments and shoes to get an accurate fit.

Step 36: Rent the tux, or purchase the suit, depending of course on the groom's preference.

Step 37: Order bouquets. My maid of honor happens to run a family greenhouse, so she fashioned ours from some lovely calla lillies she had available plus picked up roses and baby's breath at a local florist.

Step 38: Make your hair appointment. You may want to stop in for "test drive" of the hairdo you'd like to wear on the big day. Bring your veil to get an idea of how the veil will look.

Step 39: Assign your guests to tables on the diagram provided by the wedding hall. Give this information to the wedding coordinator, along with the table cards with each person's name on them.

Step 40: Check back with the company or person who is creating your wedding favors if you're giving these away. Plan to pick them up or have them delivered the week of the wedding at the latest.

Step 41: Shop for little gifts of appreciation to give the bridal party and anyone else who may have had a special part in the planning and execution of your big day. Gift-wrap in advance and store for the wedding day.

Step 42: Check back with the hotel to make sure the block of rooms is set to go. Find out who from your wedding guest list has booked rooms. Talk about arranging a shuttle to and from the reception if necessary. Decide when you'd like to have your room available. We actually got dressed in (separate) hotel rooms rather than at our parents' homes.

Step 43: Handle the unfinished business of your marriage license. You will need to write them a small check and have paperwork signed. Don't forget your birth certificates before you walk out the door!

Step 44: Wrap up everything with your outfits. The bride's dress should fit perfectly and be dry-cleaned (if secondhand) and pressed. The groom's shoes should be shined, cufflinks sparkling and all that.

Step 45: Make a list of all the items you'll need for your wedding day. Write down each phase of the day and where you'll be/who will be there with you, so you'll know what to include. Check and double-check your list. You don't want to forget something silly, like your toothbrush or shoes!

Step 46: The day before your wedding has arrived. Exciting stuff!! Handle any last-minute calls, texts or emails. Charge your cell phones and type out a list of phone numbers of key people such as bridal party, family members, catering hall, hotel, band, babysitters, and anyone else who you may need to contact in the event your phone goes missing or won't work. Pack up all your bags and take along any snacks or food for the early morning frenzy. Don't forget cash to tip the catering hall people, hotel workers and drivers.

Step 47. Show up. Get married! Enjoy the day – you earned it. Congratulations, husband and wife. :)

How to Plan a Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 2

Step 13: Assemble your wedding invitations. This is more involved than it sounds. For each one, you'll need to include an invitation itself, a reply card and a self-addressed, stamped envelope for people to return it. You also want to put hotel information, a map of your area, and directions to the hotel, to the ceremony, and to the reception. Also directions from the ceremony to the reception! You want to also decide if the outermost envelopes should be written in calligraphy.

Step 14: Shop for veil, shoes, undergarments and purse. Those are probably each of their own steps, really.

Step 15: Shop for groom's getup, including tux or suit and shoes. Hooray for being the uncomplicated groom!

Step 16: Hire a photographer. We found ours on Craigslist. In our ad, we were totally transparent about our needs and budgetary concerns. Our guy had a great looking website and seemed very nice and professional on the phone.

Step 17: Price out your flowers. I can't offer any more input on this, because we didn't have flowers. Instead, I had my good friend Laura Knott hand-paint some white wedding roses on our candle holder centerpieces.

Step 18: Make a list of songs you'd like to hear. Mine was very long, but I gave the wedding band/DJ free reign over which ones to play.

Step 19: Look into the details of getting a marriage license. Call your local town clerk and ask questions.

Step 20: Choose your hotel. It should be near the wedding venue so people can drive or be shuttled there easily. Ask the hotel manager about saving a block of rooms – most hotels offer a discount on this. Also ask for direction cards that you can include with your invitations.

Step 21: Mail out your wedding invitations!

Step 22: Collect replies as they arrive in the mail. I kept mine in a Yes or No pile.

Step 23: Arrange for a limo ride from the hotel. Our "limo" was my husband's father. Yes, we are as frugal as it gets!

Step 24: Plan where your rehearsal dinner will be. We didn't have one, because we're THAT laid back! Seriously, though... if you're having a simple wedding, there's really no need for a big fuss on the night before. We all know what we're doing – walking down the aisle!

Step 25: Order table favors if you plan to give these away. We did not have table favors... instead, we gave away our hand-painted candle centerpieces to anyone who wanted one.

Step 26: Purchase things like table cards, candles, thank-you cards, a box to hold the gifts in, the ring pillow, decor, and anything else you may want to have at your wedding. Pick up a stockpile of stamps on your way home.

Read Steps 27 through 47 here

How to Plan A Simple and Frugal Wedding in 6 Months - Part 1

Step 1: Phone your venue of choice and set a tentative date.

Step 2: Choose an officiator and set a date. The officiator will travel to the location where your wedding ceremony will be held. He or she may also wish to meet up and discuss your relationship/thoughts about marriage and other details.

Step 3: Meet with event manager and lock in your wedding date. Discuss details such as time of day wedding will be held, open or cash bar, cocktail hour appetizers, dinner selections. Discuss any questions you may have.

Step 4: Begin writing up the guest list. This may change as things progress. Parents often find people to add. Choose your bridal party if you plan to have one. We kept things simple, and had only a maid of honor, best man, and ring bearer (our son).

Step 5: Do a price comparison on the cake bakery. I am embarrassed to say that we spent about $350 on the cake because we didn't shop around. I'm told my friend got her wedding cake for $15! Select a bakery and give them an idea of the design/type of cake you'd like.

Step 6: Start hunting for your wedding dress. This is one of the more time-intensive aspects of getting married. Like any bride, you want to look good on your wedding day.

Step 7: Choose your music: wedding DJ, band, or both? We ended up having both, but only because our band guy informed us that this was what "the kids" enjoyed.

Step 8. Purchase wedding invitations. We bought ours online, but you can print them yourself if you know how.  

Step 9: Begin collecting the addresses of people you plan to invite. Parents are typically a good source for this type of information.

Step 10: Follow up with wedding event manager and cake baker about the anticipated number of guests. Do a food tasting if you insist on one. We didn't. The guy told us the food was excellent, and we believed him. It really was!

Step 11: Buy your dress! Be sure it's at least 2 sizes bigger than your street size. Anticipate alterations.

Step 12: Initiate a discussion about what the bridesmaids and maid of honor will be wearing. I personally was very relaxed about this. You may decide that you want everyone to wear a specific dress, in a specific color. Or, you may choose the color but allow them to wear whatever style of dress is most flattering for each person. Finally – you might just say something like, "Everyone wear black!"

Read Steps 13 through 26, here

Seeking an Affordable NJ Wedding Venue? Don't Knock the Elks!

When we started talking to my husband's parents about wedding plans, my father-in-law suggested the Somerville Elks Club. He said the price would run around $60 or $70 a head, and that shocked us. We knew nothing about the outrageous expense of a NJ wedding, or the ridiculous amounts of time and effort that go into planning one from scratch.

A few calls to some local fire houses who took their sweet time in getting back to us, and a quick review of all we'd have to take care of on "our day," and we quickly realized that 6 or 7 grand for a 100-person wedding really isn't all that much. After all, this was an "all inclusive package":

5-hour reception with cocktail hour
open bar
catered dinner and dancing
cutting and serving of our cake

...all at a respectable-looking place where we'd be proud to celebrate our wedding day. For a few extra fees, we could have the actual ceremony there on the premises, and let their staff deal with decoration and chair setup/takedown.

Our visit to the Somerville Elks included a tour of the premises, a look around the room where our wedding would be hosted, and a meeting with the event manager to discuss the menu and other options.

We selected a Saturday afternoon buffet, because the price was $10 less per plate than tableside service. The dinner entrees all sounded great to us – a pasta dish, a beef dish, a chicken dish and a fish dish; plus salad, rolls and sides. Meaning, each person would get to go up and try ALL of the aforementioned entrees... because, after all, it was a buffet. Pretty awesome, really.  

It really was a hell of an offer, so we took it. What with me being a full-time mom to our  2-year-old, and my husband and I both managing our own small businesses, we really didn't have the time to spare for anything more involved. And to be perfectly honest, we weren't all that picky about the small details.

If you'd like to have your own, budget-friendly NJ wedding, visit http://somervilleelks.com. Ask for John Stepe – he'll take excellent care of you!